Five Intriguing Foods I'm Too Scared To Try

Cheesecake milkshake from Katz's.
Cheesecake milkshake from Katz's.

I try to be a fearless eater. But though I'm generally not intimidated by strange sauces and mysterious meats, there are some foods and drinks that I want to try (sort of) but won't, for a variety of (wussy) reasons. Here are five:

5. Prune Juice. I really like the taste of prunes and therefore probably would enjoy the juice, but its reputation for, um, colon cleansing freaks me out. I am terrified of accidently guzzling too much and then finding myself in an overheated mall with no working restrooms.

4. Pig's Ears. I don't mind chicken feet and even enjoy beef tongues. And I've heard braising pig's ears in soy sauce, ginger, and sugar does much for the taste and texture. But there's something about that rubbery, pointed porcine appendage that still gives me the willies.

3. A Chunky's "Four Horsemen" Burger. Have I mentioned that I love burgers? A lot? I also have been trying to regain my tolerance for spicy food; therefore, to that end, I really should try Chunky's famous burger from Chunky's Burger in San Antonio, which is a half-pound of beef covered in grilled jalapeños, serrano peppers, "ghost chiles" (Bhut Jolokia), jalapeño jack cheese, and habanero sauce. A waiver is required to undertake the Chunky Four Horsemen Challenge, and I'm uncomfortable with that. I'm more concerned that this burger will bring my own personal (gastric) apocalypse.

2. Four Loko. Despite its horrendous reputation and supposedly horrific taste, Four Loko continues to fascinate me. I don't want to drink as many cans as Craig Hlavaty did -- just maybe one, to see what the fuss is all about. Too bad I'm convinced even a few sips will find me running amok through the streets of Houston.

1. Katz's Cheesecake Milkshake. I like cheesecake and I really like milkshakes. I harbor this irrational fear, however, that consuming that much fat and dairy in one sitting will leave me permanently lactose-intolerant. And then where would I be? Drinking that almond milk crap.

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