The ambience was dark and inviting when I entered The Guava Lamp (570 Waugh Drive, 713-524-3359), and the provocative music videos were a welcome change from the primaries and sports. The place was packed with partiers saying goodbye to one ecstatic dude moving on to San Francisco. Bartender Mikey displayed a look of pure panic when I asked him to make me something simply fabulous. It was his first day on the job, and my request rendered him speechless. No problem. Some nearby knights in stunning armor came to my rescue in the charming way that gay men treat sassy women like me. After a lively discussion about Guava's extensive drink list, we chose the French Martini, because my new buds were positive that this cocktail was Carrie Bradshaw's real favorite, not the Cosmo. Unable to argue with logic like that, I was soon sipping yet another strong, sweet pink drink. One was enough, so, ready to continue my own quest for sex in this city, I bade my new friends adieu.
1 1/2 oz Absolut Citron vodka
1/2 oz raspberry liqueur
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Splash of cranberry juice
Splash of pineapple juice
Mix all ingredients with ice. Shake well. Pour into a chilled martini glass. Garnish with lemon peel.