Health Department Roundup

Mistakes happen. In fact, many of us are probably mistakes ourselves. Other mistakes of varying severity include falsely believing that you're above the law; writing the wrong name on a restaurant inspection report; introducing children to endless quantities of food combinations like macaroni and pizza before they're old enough to get stoned and fully appreciate them; and spending way too much time on the internet. The following are some examples of these types of mistakes.

(Note: In honor of standardized testing season, we're writing this "signpost" style. Not forgetting how to write this way immediately after our final TAAS test [giving away our age, sort of] was done is a mistake on our part.)

First, some restaurants falsely believe that they are above the law. Taps (5120 Washington) and Brixx (5110 Washington), two timeless bars that pull in business based solely on strength of character and not just their location on Washington Avenue, were written up for not having the proper temporary food service permits. This could mean there was grilling, and possibly chilling, going on out back, bro, without the required paperwork, though we can't be sure based on the report. Inspectors also came at Taps for not having a Food Service Manager's Certification. Neither place received any other violations, but both were issued citations.

Second, some inspectors make the mistake of writing the wrong restaurant name on their inspection report. The Fox Sports Skybox in Intercontinental's Terminal E (3500 N. Terminal Way) is the proud owner of a 1.5-star Yelp rating based on six reviews, one of which recommends starvation over actually eating at the place. It's also the proud owner of a completely clean inspection report that lists the restaurant's name as "Fox News." Nice. Was this actually a mistake? Or is that Johnny Swift crafting health reports on the north side?

Third, some restaurants introduce children to endless quantities of food combinations like macaroni and pizza before they're old enough to get stoned and fully appreciate them. Specifically, Cici's pizza buffet does this. The Cici's at 7444 W. Tidwell is not guilty, however, of any major kitchen violations. There were no covers on the trash cans outside and no signs inside prohibiting smoking, but those barely rate as far as crimes against cleanliness go. For the food combination thing - not yet regulated by the city, surprisingly - wait until they're at least 12, Cici's. Eleven, if there's an older sibling involved.

Finally, spending too much time on the internet is a mistake. This might be the case if you review the inspection report for Yao Restaurant and Bar (1201 Main), and instead of really considering the six violations (single service/single use articles being reused, but corrected on site), all you can think about is the semi-web-famous Yao rage face.

Health Department Roundup

You tell 'em, Yao.

In conclusion, we got through this without cursing or slipping into a foreign language, so that's at least a mediocre score for us.



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