Today we're covering everything from a hotel that caters to the 1 percent, or those who likely aspire to be in that class, to a fast food chain that caters to 100 percent of people who like wings and rice. Probably a good 25 percent of those people also enjoy either 40's or dice, as the South Park Mexican song suggests. That's just a guess, draw your own Venn diagram. Personally, we rank the aforementioned items in the following order, from best to still-good-but-not-best: 40's, wings, dice, rice. Lots of simple carbs in rice, not too healthy. Anyway.

The Original Timmy Chan's up in Kashmere Gardens (5502 Lockwood) got hit with ten violations during a routine inspection Wednesday. Those included some basic stuff like dirty floors, dirty microwaves, dirty vents, dirty walls/ceiling and dirty non-food-contact surfaces. Also included was a bizarre violation we've never encountered: "Food establishment serving highly susceptible population using bare-hand contact with ready-to-eat foods." (Emphasis is ours.) Is this Timmy Chan's outpost serving homeless people? Is the Health Department making distinctions for restaurants in low-income neighborhoods? Can't you guys just put some damn gloves on? Either way, the place stayed open and no citation was issued.

Hotel ZaZa (5701 Main), which as far as we know doesn't have a branch in Kashmere Gardens, got hit with eight violations spread over three areas. In the Monarch kitchen, there were dirty vents, no manager with the proper certification on duty, and employees were using improperly stored or sanitized moist cloths for cleaning purposes. In the main kitchen, there was accumulated dust/dirt/debris on non-food-contact surfaces, as well as improperly designed utensils/equipment, unshielded artificial lighting, and again, no Food Service Manager's Certification. The room service area got written up for non-food-contact surfaces that had accumulated dust/dirt/debris. The parking garage/driveway had that big black SUV with the stupid longhorns mounted on the grill. That's not a health code violation, but it does offend our personal taste. Only acceptable if Larry Hagman is riding around in that shit.

Pete's Fine Meats (5509 Richmond) was inspected after a complaint. The city found only one violation: "Food not protected from potential contamination by dust/dirt/unclean equipment/utensils/coughs/sneezes/insects/rodents/flooding/drainage/drippage from condensation/overhead leakage/unnecessary handling/toxic materials/damaged." Don't care how many rodent sneezes are involved (if any - could just be some "unnecessary handling" going on), where else are you gonna get lion meat?

Taqueria Arandas #3 (920 N. Shepherd) earned citation for six violations: improperly sized/installed/maintained plumbing, "Prohibited hot food holding facility used for rapid reheating of potentially hazardous food" (repeat, corrected on site), dust/dirt/debris on non-food-contact surfaces, dirty floors, vents that aren't easily cleanable/in bad repair/dirty, and food stored less than six inches from the ground.

Inexplicable Entry of the Week: An inspection report submitted 11/9 lists the restaurant as "cash customer," (see photo below) and the attached report offers no restaurant name and no violations. Hey, we're not saying anything.