The Health Department inspected a number of schools last week. Each school inspection yields at least a couple reports - one for the kitchen and one for the premises. Usually there's not much going on in the way of violations, but we'll do our best with what we have.

Ridgecrest Elementary (2015 Ridgecrest) got written up for not having a thermometer in the warmest part of the kitchen, where potentially hazardous food is stored. (If there's no thermometer, how can you say it's the warmest part of the facility?) Ridgecrest also earned a violation for "Using shipping containers/milk/produce crates as storage racks/support shelves." Talk on the street is they're also misusing popsicle sticks and elbow macaroni in the art classes, but you didn't hear that from us.

Landrum Middle School (2200 Ridgecrest), like its neighbor Ridgecrest, earned two violations, both of which were corrected on site. The first was not providing hand-washing "aids and devices" at various sinks. The second was "Frozen food not kept frozen." The frozen food...was not frozen. We're lost, ontologically speaking.

Bendwood Elementary (12750 Kimberly) had a dirty or improperly set up ice machine, and some poorly designed or maintained utensils, but both of those were corrected on site, we hope by fifth graders wearing orange sashes and drunk on power. We've been there. And unless you served as a hall monitor (Horn Elementary, '94), you can't know what's it like...the authority, the respect, the way women look at you. It's a unique high.

The kitchen at Barbara Bush Elementary (13800 Westerloch) got written up for accumulated dirt/dust/debris, and dirty sinks/soap dispensers/hand-washing devices.

Honor Roll: Christ the Lord (4410 S. Kirkwood), a preschool and day care, was completely clean. So were Sharpview Headstart (12280 Sharpview) and Nathan J & Amelia Klein Day Care (6447 Prestwood).