Before we opened the report for the Houston Texans Grille (12848 Queensbury), we decided the inspection result would predict the team's fate in the coming season. This method has literally never failed, or succeeded. If it turns out to be an ineffective predictor, though, we promise to name our first child Lisfranc. Yes, we're that confident. In the fact that we won't have kids.
The verdict: The team's official bar/restaurant got hit with just two violations! That means great things for the Texans. We're thinking a Wild-Card bye, followed by a victory over the Ravens (looking good in purple, Jacoby), followed by a loss to -- screw it, a dark-horse Manning-led Broncos team. That one will sting badly, but life is pain and an AFC Championship berth would be incredible regardless of the results. Go ahead and put an irresponsible amount of money on this. (The violations, by the way, were hand-washing sink not accessible to employees at all times and manager lacking proper certification.)
Moving on to an upscale mainstay -- Tony's (3755 Richmond) asks that men wear jackets in the dining room, but is not too concerned with accumulations on vent filters; "serving highly susceptible population using bare-hand contact with ready-to-eat foods" (corrected on site); using improperly designed or maintained equipment; using ice intended for human consumption as a medium for cooling; and openings to the outside that could potentially let insects in. As for the "highly susceptible population" deal, we know the crowd at Tony's tilts toward the geriatric end of the spectrum, but that's just unnecessary.
Different price point, same Health Department problems -- Falafel Frenzy (914 Prairie) got hit with ten violations during a recent inspection (though, like Tony's, no citation). Problems included effective measures not taken to minimize the presence of pests; improper or non-existent sanitization of utensils or equipment; food employee not wearing effective hair restraint; no thermometer in refrigerated food-storage unit; potentially hazardous food held at improper temperatures; poisonous or toxic materials present that are "not necessary...for operations"; and bare-hand and bare-arm contact with food not minimized.
Teotihuacan (4624 Irvington -- not the north Heights location) also had a rough time last week. Inspectors found 12 violations, including spoiled or mislabeled food (corrected on site); equipment in poor repair or toxic; toilet room with doors that don't close correctly; non-durable, leaking or non-pest-proof garbage receptacles; openings to the outside that could potentially let insects in; insufficient ventilation; and "decorative materials attached to walls" not kept clean or properly maintained. Jesus, did you guys lose your citation books last week?
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Continuing with the no-citation streak, Café Adobe (2111 Westheimer) earned nine violations last week but was not ticketed. Problems included uncovered outdoor garbage containers; no thermometer in refrigerated food-storage unit; microwaves not cleaned at least once a day; ice intended for human consumption used as a medium for cooling; and vent filters not cleaned often enough to prevent accumulations. Café Adobe was also written up for serving highly susceptible population using bare-hand contact with ready-to-eat foods, which makes us think inspectors are using the "susceptible population" tag a little too liberally.
Vinson and Elkins (1001) has its own catering company. The catering company is on the 25th floor of First City Tower. The catering company's kitchen is spotless. As for the Freebird's location where you're going to buy a burrito to eat at your desk, well, that's between a tattooed twentysomething burrito store manager and God, who incidentally earns less than the average V&E partner.