I make it to a friend's shindig in the vault of the Kelvin Arms (2424 Dunstan, 713-528-5002) and discover that I know only a handful of the 40 people here. So while everyone else mingles, I grab a chair and sit against the wall with an old friend — the nacho cart. We first met at Cecilia's birthday party last summer and, due to our mutual love for tortillas, have been best friends ever since. A half hour of crunching and dipping later, I settle into an all-too-familiar Cheddar Jack coma, and bits of surrounding conversations start working into my subconscious. In this state, overhearing a little gossip doesn't faze me, but lessons on international romance from a local Don Juan — "You can order Russian chicks through the mail...I saw it on Jackass" — will always send me running for liquor. At the bar I meet Amanda, a laid-back bartender who quickly and elegantly makes me a Cuba Libre. Less couth is the guy to my right, who starts bitching about communism while airing his own capitalist ambitions. Long story short, he hopes to one day own an X-rated sub shop called "The Roast Beefy One." But before he can ruin my appetite with names for open-face sandwiches, I slip away to polish off a fourth round of cheese.
3/4 ounce Bacardi Limon Rum
3/4 ounce Myers's Dark Rum
1/4 ounce Rose's lime juice
Juice of 3-4 lime wedges
Splash soda
Splash Coke
Lime wedge
Pour rum, Rose's and lime over ice. Shake, then add soda and Coke. Garnish with lime wedge.