Hey punk, Father's Day is in two days! You don't have a present yet, do you? Well, fear not because Eating Our Words is here to keep you from looking like an ungrateful slacker child. Here are a few ideas for the foodie father:
"Half Full" Glasses from Sur la Table (1996 West Gray)
These clever Italian glasses come in beer or wine size/shape, but can also be used for milk, water, juice, etc. Even if these aren't your dad's style, head to Sur la Table, as they're basically a mecca for fancy gadgets and kitchen accessories. Not cheap, but--hey! HE'S YOUR DAD.
Cooking Class at Central Market (3815 Westheimer Road)
Beer & BBQ? Southwest Seafood? Knife Skills 101? If your Papa likes to cook or would like to learn how, a cooking class is a great experience to give. Better yet, buy two spots so you can go along with him--a win-win.
Membership at Costco (3836 Richmond Avenue, 12405 North Gessner Road, 1150 Bunker Hill Road)
Does your dad like samples? Does he like wandering around a large warehouse full of Titan-sized edible wonders? Would he be thrilled to be able to purchase enormous hunks of cheese at a discount price? Then buy him a Costco card, for Chrissakes! (And if you don't already have one, get one for yourself). He will thank you, perhaps in the form of a giant jar of Nutella.
If Dad lives out of town, try...
Seriously, we can't make shit like this up. You can buy dad a jerky "subscription," ensuring that each month for five months, a new flavor will arrive in his mailbox (in half-pound bags). House of Jerky also features "exotic" jerky like buffalo, venison, ostrich and turkey jerky.
Random crap from Stupid.com
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This may be one of the funniest websites in existence (seriously, read their copy, they're hilarious) and--just our luck!--they also feature overnight shipping. So if your dad's got a sense of humor, send him a bacon wallet, some Ass Kickin' Habanero Popcorn, or this awesome BBQ Grill Condiment Set.
Cookbooks/Food Memoirs from Amazon
Another place that will ship quickly (for a price!)--buy Dad Bourdain's new memoir, Medium Raw.
Of course, it's the world's largest bookstore, so you should be able to find something perfectly suited for your Papa.