What if they gave an "all-night" dance party, and a bunch of people came, but no one danced?

Christian's Tailgate Midtown throws one every Wednesday. Last week I went to see what a Midtown weekday dance night looks like because sometimes I make bad decisions. I don't have a macho aversion to dancing - after four out of the five weddings I went to this year I've woken up wishing I were actually a little more averse to dancing. I'm just not sure I'm ready for dancing on a Wednesday in Midtown.

I never found out. The crowd was younger, and large enough to require two door guys and an off-duty cop. People were drinking, socializing in small groups and occasionally showing off enough midriff to make an assistant principal's head explode. By midnight, though, there was no dancing. It was loud and the DJ was playing Top 40 music (plus this video, NFSW). The drinks were cheap ($1.50 domestic draft, $6 domestic pitchers, discounted well drinks). But the cordoned-off area near the entrance stayed empty.

There might be a little more bumping/grinding on other Wednesdays. There couldn't be any less. And maybe that's why the event gets advertised a couple different ways.

Christian's newspaper ad mentions a Midtown dance party. The bar's website lists it as Texas Style College Party. That seems a little more accurate, despite the lack of any stereotypical college-y activities like beer pong or corn hole or khaki shorts. And with two buzzwords out of four - one badass enough to sell trucks, the other youthful-sounding enough to sell pornography - TSCP gets points for efficiency.

I doubt the management cares - the bar was busy for a weeknight, even though I didn't see anyone eating, which is a little strange at a place famous for burgers. The Wednesday crowd is different than the one that's attracted to the Tailgates on Washington and White Oak. In business this is called "maximizing market share" (probably), and if you have to hire a DJ to play Pitbull videos in order to achieve that, so be it.