In a town like Houston where the class lines are so clearly and boldly drawn, it's fun to check in on the upper-upper class from time to time. Although I'm not loaded enough to afford a night out at Pesce (3029 Kirby, 713-522-4858), my dad is, so I take full advantage of his Christmas visit, dragging him to sample the finest seafood in town and rub elbows with the filthy rich. We sit down at the bar, and in between vodka tonics, appetizers and Budweisers, I coax reluctant stories about Vietnam and military intelligence out of my dad as ladies with mink coats and bored eyes dine with their husbands, scanning the restaurant for some fresh infidelity. A heavenly young lady to my right chimes in on our discussion about my dad's inability to let go of his '76 El Camino even as he shops for a new Mercedes, and offers me a taste of her Long Island Iced Tea. It turns out to be the best incarnation of the drink I've ever had in my years as a drinker, and that's including middle school. She's hotter than Dominique Sachse and Wendy Corona in a mud wrestling match, but unfortunately I've got a rather unflattering case of lobster-and-cabbage-breath. She smiles at me anyway, and I suddenly get the feeling that Dad's going to be taking his own cab back home.
1/2 ounce triple sec
1/2 ounce Gordon's London Dry gin
1/2 ounce Grey Goose vodka
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1/2 ounce Bacardi Superior rum
Splash sweet and sour mix
Splash Coca-Cola or Diet Coke
Combine triple sec, gin, vodka, rum and sweet and sour mix in an iced tea glass. Stir gently and add Coca-Cola to taste. Sell the El Camino and call a cab, because you're going to need a ride.