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The 5 Dirtiest Lines from Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory

Willy Wonka wants you to ride his boat into this fudge tunnel. What?
Willy Wonka wants you to ride his boat into this fudge tunnel. What?

Like a lot of kids, I grew up watching Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory all year round -- but especially during the holidays.

The movie is, to me, the best adaptation of a Roald Dahl book so far (just barely ahead of Matilda, of course). Gene Wilder plays the manic Willy Wonka with that perfect blend of childlike vision and humor along with twisted, dark, adult drives and desires -- a duality which was often explored in Dahl's books.

I rewatched the movie over the holidays with my parents, who'd never seen it before. Showing the classic children's movie to adults had some unintended consequences, however. Namely, the fact that a large majority of the lines in the movie seem to have been written purely as cheeky set-ups for the old "That's what she said!" punchline. That's Dahl for you, though.

As I noticed double entendre after double entendre, I started keeping track of them while I tried not to laugh too inappropriately in front of my parents. After all, we'd just gotten back from church.

5. "You can suck 'em and suck 'em and suck 'em, and they'll never get any smaller." -- Willy Wonka, on his newest creation: the Everlasting Gobstopper

Mrs. Teevee before getting Lewinski'd by one of Wonka's creepy creations.
Mrs. Teevee before getting Lewinski'd by one of Wonka's creepy creations.

4. "Oh, my dress, my hair, my face!" -- Mrs. Teevee, after being sprayed bodily with bubble suds.

3. "Suck 'em and you can spit in seven different colors." -- Willy Wonka, about his Rainbow Drops. "Spitting's a dirty habit." -- Violet, in response.

2. "Hang on, darling! Just close your eyes and hang on tight!" -- Mr. Salt on the boat ride, as Willy Wonka maniacally chants, "Faster, faster!" in the background.

Violet got all the good lines, yet a band named themselves after Veruca...
Violet got all the good lines, yet a band named themselves after Veruca...

1. "It's hot and creamy. I can actually feel it running down my throat!" -- Violet, after eating a gumball that tastes like a three-course meal. (She was referring to tomato soup, but you could've fooled me.)



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