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The Gang's Back: 5 Foods to Serve at Your It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Premiere Party

It's the new Wine Wednesday.
It's the new Wine Wednesday.

You guys, it's finally here. Season 9 of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia begins this Wednesday on FXX.

If you're not a fan, you should be. Rumor has it that even the Game of Thrones creators are down with the gang, as David Benioff and D.B. Weiss have co-written an episode. This is like TV Inception; consider our minds blown.

We don't know about you, but we've got our wine in hand (in a can, of course) ready for the premiere. And we've come up with a few other Sunny treats to go along with it.

Here are 5 Foods for Your Always Sunny Viewing Pleasure:

5. Wine In A Can "I feel like drinking wine out of a can is conducive to my violent hand gestures when I speak." -- Mac, "The Gang Gives Frank an Intervention"

You can't call yourself an Always Sunny fan and not have tried pouring wine into an empty soda can. Double points if you've brought it out in public. Triple points if you've salted someone as well. Don't worry; it's not your fault. Snail gave you no choice.

We look forward to a season of being free to gesture with our hands without the threat of spilling wine all over the goddamn place. It's Wine in a Can Wednesdays, y'all.

4. Milk Steak "I'll have the milk steak, boiled over hard, and your finest jelly beans...raw." -- Charlie Kelly, "The Waitress Is Getting Married."

We can only imagine what Milk Steak -- a favorite of Charlie's -- actually is. Luckily, writer Glenn Howard (Dennis) took to Twitter to help out:

The Gang's Back: 5 Foods to Serve at Your It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia  Premiere Party

Well, thank God for that. And thank God for wikiHow, because now we know how to make it, too. Just make sure you boil it over hard.

 

Charlie's dream book, come to life.
Charlie's dream book, come to life.

3. Denim Chicken "That looks like a drawing of a pair of jeans, a plus sign and a chicken." -- Dee Reynolds, "Charlie Kelly: King of the Rats"

We love Charlie's dream book, where he chronicles his dreams and aspirations in pictures and symbols. We love it so much, in fact, that we're willing to cut up a pair of old jeans to re-create his imagined Denim Chicken from the episode.

So here's what we're thinking:

  1. Cut out the pockets of your jeans and stuff some chicken wings inside; or
  2. Buy a tiny rotisserie chicken and stuff it inside a pair of toddler-size jeans or overalls.

Your guests will either be in awe of your brilliance or cringe and leave. Either reaction is fair game for an Always Sunny party.

Riot punch gives Green Man all the strength he needs.
Riot punch gives Green Man all the strength he needs.

2. Riot Punch "Whenever there is a potential riot, I'm getting blasted on grain alcohol." -- Mac, The World Series Defense

What's a Phillies game without Riot Punch, or a party, for that matter? No party at all if you ask us.

The gang makes sure to have the drink, an unhealthy amount of grain alcohol mixed with Kool-Aid, on hand anytime there's the threat of a potential riot. So naturally, we're drinking it every Wednesday.

Prepare to get browned out.

"This is ham soaked in rum. It is loaded with booze."
"This is ham soaked in rum. It is loaded with booze."

1. Rum Ham "Maybe I am, maybe I ain't, rum ham." -- Frank Reynolds, "The Gang Goes to the Jersey Shore

As this is perhaps the only real item you can feast on without getting weird looks from your neighbors, might we suggest making a Rum Ham for your premiere party?

Might we also suggest not making said ham by pouring an entire bottle of 90-proof rum onto a pre-baked ham and hoping for the best? Even if it doesn't pan out as planned, "eating your drinks? That is genius."

Have fun, y'all. And remember: Don't Cereal and Drive.


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