When I first saw a picture of James Coney Island's new limited-edition burger, "The Slopper," I realized two things: 1) I had to try it. 2) Public decency laws dictate I should do so in the privacy of my own home.
The "Slopper," as its name might suggest, is very, very sloppy. As a cheeseburger covered in about two cups of chili, cheese and onions, this sandwich makes no attempt to be neat.
Sounds just like me. (At least in terms of eating.)
Those in the know will easily testify to the fact that I cannot consume any food item without spilling at least a quarter of it either on myself or on the floor. And sometimes, on very special occasions, I spill 1/4 on the floor and 1/4 on myself, thereby wasting 1/2 of my dish...yet another reason I appreciate large portions.
My messiness is due neither to laziness nor to ignorance. (I assure you, my parents did try to teach me how to use a fork and knife properly.) I am simply a huge klutz when it comes to handling food and drink in the act of consumption and will spill, sprinkle, drip, etc. all over myself. Bibs help, but they need to be floor-length with long sleeves.
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