It's Poker Night at The Tavern on Gray (1340 West Gray, 713-522-5152), and the only people in the bar who aren't silent and trying their best to keep a poker face are my friend Craig and me. Since we both suck at poker, we've been swapping stories while drinking beer and listening to a steady stream of '90s alternative frat rock hits (in other words, Bush comes on at least once every 15 minutes). We get to talking about hometowns. Craig tells me about his native Colombia, where kidnapping is so common, it's thought of as just an annoying inconvenience. "It's like, 'Yeah, I was going to be early today, but then I got kidnapped. And you know how long that shit can take.'" In turn, I explain that in my native country of Louisiana, although kidnappings aren't too commonplace, political indictments happen about once every hour and a half. I ask Craig if he's ever been kidnapped. "Hell, no," he says. "But I've used it as an excuse to get out of a blind date before." I make a mental note to remember this excuse if I ever happen to be late for work in Colombia.
2 ounces Skyy vodka
1/2 ounce Kahlúa liqueur
The Tavern on Gray
1/2 ounce Goldschläger liqueur
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Combine Skyy, Kahlúa, Goldschläger and cream in a highball glass and stir well. Top off with cream, and pray the money comes through before they start chopping off fingers.