Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating Our Words, where, thanks to our new Gelatin Piranha™ we bought off of a late-night infomercial, we can now gelatinize an entire cow in under four minutes.
We started the week off right with a look at some curiously old-school items on a local grocery store shelf. I swear there's a convenience store somewhere in East Texas that still sells Bonkers. You know, those little two-layered candies that stopped being made right before grunge got popular? They're still out there. Go find 'em.
We stopped in to Perry's in Sugar Land for some socializing, then got all fancy-shmancy over some tequila. I'll never understand how people can just drink tequila straight-up like it's no big deal. You may as well be slamming shots of fireants. I'm more of a beer guy, so naturally I'm very happy about what these Open the Taps fellas are trying to do.
Owling? Ha ha, okay, whatever! I'll admit, I like it better than planking. Let's try and get sandwiching started, shall we? This is where you lay somewhere in between two giant slices of bread. Prop comedy: still going strong in 2011.
As far as great non-Blue Bell ice creams go, we were particularly sad when Haagen-Dazs discontinued their amazing Bailey's Irish Cream-flavored ice cream. The shakes I made with that and some actual Bailey's were so good... so good...
Sorrel Urban Bistro looks to be just about the classiest place imaginable where you can get wine on tap, so enjoy it before the fun-killing cancers at the TABC find some bullshit excuse to make them stop.
Hey, check out the comments section on this article about top-shelf chef / hissy fit-thrower Randy Rucker! Good to know people online are still capable of logical, reasonable discourse!
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Eating Our Words has more competition in town, but we're not worried. We have other people start our cars for us every morning. We've lost a lot of good interns that way.
There's an upcoming event where you can drink all the wine you want for $25. We foresee no problems with drunken, unruly behavior, but only because it's being hosted by professionals. My upcoming birthday party, wherein $10 gets you all the bum wine you can drink, will most likely be very, very different. We're laying down plastic over all the furniture and carpet and locking everything with a sharp edge in a storage space across town.
Finally, here are five snacks to cool you off as you suffer through the boiling hellsphere of what Houston weatherpersons are laughably referring to as "summer," the same way a historian might refer to World War I as a "scuffle." Stay hydrated, and we'll see you next week.