This Week in Deliciousness

I'll be honest, some of the jokes this week are wafer thin. Including this one.
I'll be honest, some of the jokes this week are wafer thin. Including this one.

Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating Our Words, where we've just read the CDC's report that teenagers are still drinking too much soda. Holy crackers 'n' crumpets 'n' tubas 'n' trumpets! We've got to put everything else on hold while we deal with this surprising, shocking, dismaying news. I just hope that next they don't find out that teens are inappropriately fiddling around with their bodies. You know... sexually. Horrors.

We started the week off right with foods that go well with Scotch and whiskey. Hell to the yes. I, for one, am tired of eating cotton candy or Cornnuts and having it diminish my enjoyment of a good 30-year-old single malt.

If you own an air conditioner, you no doubt understand the A/C paradox: they simply are not made to operate in hot weather. Seriously, as soon as temperatures break the 90s, air conditioners start panicking and breaking down. It's dumb as hell. So if your A/C is broken, you'll be wanting to avoid using the oven, because a good stove can heat up a room faster than an awkward, lazy simile that has no second comparison model. You'll still be needing dessert, though, so here's a bunch you can make without so much as touching the oven. As for another top five, here are five that are nearly as fun to wear as they are to eat.

It's our unpleasant duty to have to honestly report on when an event turns into a hellish debacle, even when those behind said event have the best of intentions. So with that in mind, ladies and gentlemen, Houston Beer Fest 2011. Actually, we have no idea what the intentions of the organizers were, so feel free to chime in on the spectacular free-for-all that is that article's comments section.

After a stop for some Bun Bo Hue (sadly not eaten with local rapper Bun B), we experimented with some margaritas, always fun to fool around with this time of year. Also fun to fool around with: fried stuff and good foreign beer.

Beer camp is serious business. For proof of that, you need only read the saga. Speaking of long and involved, don't have blood sugar issues while you're trying to decide what to get on your burger at The Counter. You'll pass right the hell out while you're trying to figure out if Sriracha pairs with Hollandaise. (Hint: Nope, not even a little.)

How did we manage to have some great meals at a restaurant that isn't even open yet? Easy: we're pretty much Time Bandits. We are not, however, linguists, which is why we were somewhat dismayed to learn that we've been pronouncing "gnocchi" wrong all these years. We thought it was pronounced "VICK-ee-SOYSE."

Want something to lift your spirits a little on your way into the weekend? Uh... actually, I'm not talking about McDonald's new sauce armada, although of course that's great news for everyone who believes in America and apple pie and penguins dressed up in sequined tuxedo vests doin' the cha-cha. No, I refer to Katharine Shilcutt's insightful, honest, and endearing look into what it's really like being a food critic. I don't have any jokes for this. It is simply an excellent read. Perhaps it's unprofessional to say, but if you think she's anything less than a civic treasure, you need to have your damn fool head examined. End gushing.

Finally, it is of course still hotter than the Devil's taint out there in Houston, so be sure you stay hydrated and have yourselves a great weekend.

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