This Week in Deliciousness
"It's either a White Russian or Polyjuice Potion, I dunno, the labels are all mixed up back here."
Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating Our Words, where the leftover Peeps are finally starting to develop that intriguing leathery outer shell. We started the week off right with some chickens. That's right, chickens. They're tasty, and tasty things come out of them. Plus if you live next door to someone with a couple, they'll really keep your cats in line.
We were somewhat surprised to find that the best oysters we've had all season came from a chain -- Pappadeaux, to be exact. I say "somewhat" surprised because although it's a chain, Pappadeaux tend to be pretty all right, most times. So we weren't as surprised as we would have been if we'd eaten the best oysters of the season at, say, Burger King.
What would you order as your last meal if you were about to die? For me, it'd be my Me-Maw's chicken 'n' dumplins. And then since she's already passed away and they can't fulfill my request, they'd have to let me go, right? See, I'm just too smart for the system.
Paulie's appears to be doing Italian food right, which is good. I don't have a joke for that, it's just a good thing is all. Another good thing: matzah. Or matzoh. I'm not really sure. Any of you guys who know better care to explain in the comments?
A bit of sad news for our city as the Compassion Tax has passed restricting the handing out of food to the needy. Eh, but whatever, am I right? They're just a bunch of smelly bums, unpleasant to look at or be around. Yup, just a bunch of poor, sick, often mentally impaired people who can't work or take care of themselves cast adrift in a society which tolerates their very existence less and less. So who cares, y'know? Not my problem. *derisive sniff*
In cheerier news, a Houston bartender is moving on to the national level in a rum competition, and although it's not a "Who Can Drink the Most Rum Without Dying?" competition, that's still pretty cool.
It's not enough to buy the right ingredients: you have to know how to cook them, too. Seems obvious, but what are you gonna do. A lot of these locavore, farm-to-table places seem to be falling into what I call the Reverse Fast Food Trap. They take awesome ingredients and make them bland, whereas fast food joints take scientifically-engineered food-like substances and make them taste delicious. Some items more delicious than others.
Man, there sure are a lot of stupid assholes on Facebook, huh? And not just your old friend from high school who keeps posting long-since-disproven urban myths paired with un-ironic Glenn Beck quotes.
The Houston Heights Bee Project is still brutally enslaving legions of our proud insect brothers, forcing them to toil daily for - I'm sorry, I can't even be facetious. I'll never understand the "honey is cruelty" people. The bugs don't care who they're making the honey for, I promise. In fact, if current population-depletion trends are to be believed, you should just be glad we're keeping as many of the delicate little bastards alive as we can.
Finally, H-Town StrEATS is getting a makeover soon, so if you were one of the people filling up their Twitter feed with incessant bitching about how ugly their truck was, congratulations. We hope you're very proud of yourselves. Way to be the change you want to see in the world.
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