Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating Our Words, where we've only recently learned that internet vigilantes Anonymous have recently leaked a bunch of our emails, including messages in which we admit to liking both real bacon and turkey bacon. We regret the inevitable scandal.

We started the week off right with a look into something we can all agree is the best thing ever: TV. All of us except your hipster friends who don't even own a TV because "it rots your mind," LIKE THEY WOULD DARE SAY THAT TO THE FACE OF A MYTHBUSTER and okay I'm settling down. I just get... don't screw with my Mythbusters.

Are you a bobo? If so, you probably have these things in your kitchen. Oh, and just in case you didn't know, "bobo" is modern slang for "reluctant wolfman." So that article doesn't actually make much sense.

Quick: what's the most important thing to keep in mind during what leading analysts are calling a "total raging shitbucket economy?" That's right: it's where to get the best deals on booze. Recipes for spicy desserts rank pretty close, though.

What's so great about the restaurant gentrification of Westheimer, you may ask? Well, the fact that these exist, for one thing. Yes, I know that restaurant isn't on Westheimer, but that just shows how a gentrified Westheimer's goodness oozes out from its epicenter, infecting nearby places with its goodness. Like an outbreak of really nice zombies. Shut up.

Hey guess what? Marketing people are, a lot of the time, huge, swollen hemorrhoids of people. Case in point: the Empty Nester, which would have made for wonderful satire, but as an actual advertising strategy, is just clueless and sad. Speaking of sad, Nick sure does like to write articles full of words I don't know, making me feel inadequate not just as a writer, but as a person. Thanks, Nick.

Bad at cooking? Not to worry: here are a bunch of foods you can safely cook to death. Unlike stuffed chicken, which must be prepared with skill. I assume.

This new coffee house opened up next to Dirt Bar and House of Blues, so stop on by and peer out the window as the douchiest people ever pass by. Count people walking into Dirt Bar wearing hundred of dollars worth of clothes designed to look artfully ratty and scummy. Seriously, it's like Mugatu's Derelicte collection in there.

Tasty vegetables? Pffft. Liar.

Finally: Disco Kroger is on its way back! Rejoice, Montrosians! Rejoice!