Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating...Our Words, where the Once de Mayo celebrations continue apace. It's a lot like Cinco de Mayo only with no historical context, no Mexican theme, no real reason for existing, and a much earlier commencement of drinky-time. Spiral? What spiral? Don't judge me.
We started the week off very, very wrong with a look at a Japanese treat called Urine-Soaked Virgin Boy Eggs, a prime example of why superstition and food should always be kept separate. I hope it's not considered offensive if I refer to this as "superstition." I hope y'all aren't under the impression that there's any kind of science behind this.
We followed that up with a little guessing game, a who-said-it contest featuring Philosophically Sound But Smug, Unlikable Asswipe Vs. Loveable But Batshit Crazy Surrogate Aunt Figure. If you can't tell which one is supposed to be which, we can't help you.
The Single Girl's Guide to Breakup Dining isn't just for girls, thanks to the copious amounts of alcohol included. Heartbroken? Break out those emergency sweat pants and let's try to split the seams before the week is out. We can do this.
There were more than five fun things to do at the East End Festival, but here's our favorites. Maybe pay attention and don't let it pass you by next year, hmmm? That's right, it's all your fault. But hey, don't be sad. Look at all this adorable baby crap instead. See, isn't that better?
Stella Sola closed down, which sucks, since it was a really nice place with really good food. And yet Domino's remains not just open, but popular all over the country. Sometimes it just feels like there's no justice in the world. Especially not when a man's Whataburger can be robbed from him by common street trash. I mean, yeah, sometimes you just need a Honey Barbecue Chicken Strip Sandwich, but that's no excuse for thievery.
Turns out little kids aren't necessarily all that psyched about exploring the various facets and subtleties of vegetables. Man, if you coulda predicted that one, kindly e-mail me tonight's lottery numbers! Speaking of gambling, trying a new place out isn't always a safe bet, but the five good points of Union Kitchen do seem to outweigh the five bad points, so this will be one to watch. If the safe bet is your thing: burgers. There's just no reason not to.
Washington Avenue is starting to experience something of a resurgence, as recent years' plague of brosephs begins to subside. First up: a darn fine sushi place called The Blue Fish. No word yet on sister restaurants One Fish, Two Fish and Red Fish.
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If you were planning on dying soon, we've got some bad news: Not only did we create The Foodie's List of 100 Things To Eat Before You Die, but we also have a new list of 100 Favorite Houston Dishes, and we're counting them down starting this week. To try all of this stuff, realistically, you'd better plan on staying alive for at least another year. Sorry if that ruins any plans for you.
Finally, here are some non-cheesy places to take Mom on Mother's Day. For those mommas among you with small children, might I humbly suggest another place: Happy Fatz in the Heights. Yeah, it's hot dogs, but it's damn good hot dogs, as well as homemade baked goods and a fine selection of tea. This place just needs more love, is all.