This Week in Deliciousness: The Octopus Gambit

We were halfway through the soup course...when the drugs took hold.
We were halfway through the soup course...when the drugs took hold.
Phaedra Cook

Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating...Our Words, where the experiments on which libation works best for spiking watermelons continue. More research needs to be done, but we have reached one solid conclusion: It ain't bitters. Whoof. It's named that for a reason, turns out.

We started the week off right by learning how to cook like Vikings. Pillaging for ingredients has to be the funnest part.

The Landry's company showed off its iron grip on Houston's food industry with a showcase featuring admittedly delicious food with only a very slight PR aftertaste. Not that we're knocking the concept of public relations: When in need, you really can't beat getting treated just right as a customer for making a successful evening.

Want to see a happy dog? Try making some of these frozen popsicles just for your little slobberbeast. Honestly, that sounds like something that would be tasty for people, too, minus the doggie treat stick. We learned as a child that those things don't taste nearly as cookie-like as they appear.

Whataburger has a new menu featuring lower-calorie items, though I personally will never know what any of them taste like, since the pull of the Honey Barbecue Chicken Strip Sandwich is simply too strong, and it's a permanent menu fixture now. Sure, Whataburger, try and act like you're not intentionally sabotaging my dieting attempts. Go ahead, you delicious bastards.

The cupcake may be on the wane as a fad, but so what, cupcakes are still and will always be awesome. You can remind yourself of that fact at Sugarbaby's, which sounds like a New Orleans barbecue dive, but is really a cupcake shop.

Not every incarnation of Korean hwe is the same, so make sure you know whether or not the course includes live octopus before you order. That's the kind of thing you either want or you don't. It's not like, say, an after-dinner mint where you can take it or leave it. You're either there to eat some live octopus or to avoid it at all cost. We don't judge you for which side you're on, we're just saying, make sure you know first.

New Carrabba diner Mia's opened this week, sure to frustrate many a texter in the future who is trying to type "Mai's." Autocorrect is going to work in this place's favor for sure.

We looked into the top five condiments you can make yourself, a few of them almost as obscure as these five eating utensils. Go ahead, serve your yuzu kosho with a snail spoon. Everybody's gonna be super-impressed.

Some memes are better than others, and for my money, you can't beat the "Ermahgerd!" girl. It's just hard to beat sheer lovable enthusiasm, even if it is for R.L. Stine's horrible Goosebumps series. Yes, they were horrible. Sorry if you've got pleasant childhood memories attached to them, but try reading them again. Some youth-oriented literature still holds up as the years pass by. Yeah, not these.

You know what always holds up, though? Stuffed crescent rolls. They never disappoint.



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