As we know, today is National Fortune Cookie Day. Rivaling that in ridiculousness, tomorrow is National Junk Food Day.

The concept of a National Junk Food Day in the United States is in a way laughable, considering the average American eats rather unhealthful, processed stuff on a regular basis. But suspend your cynicism for a moment and imagine what sort of celebratory buffet you would prepare for this holiday.

I guess it all depends on your definition of "junk food." For me, it's something that offers little to no nutritional value but TASTES SPLENDID. I therefore hesitate to classify many varieties of burgers as junk food, considering beef and cheese and bread and even ketchup (which, by the way, can help prevent skin cancer) aren't inherently nutritionally worthless, even if they can be deleterious in large quantities. The same goes for ice cream, chocolate and Snickers bars (they do, after all, have whole peanuts).

When I'm not sampling diet beverages or limited-edition treats, I try (operative word here) to eat mostly whole foods with minimal processing. As a result, I like my junk food really junky, i.e., the sort of stuff that couldn't possibly pass for dinner (or any other legitimate culturally recognized meal) and is almost guaranteed to be composed of wholly unnatural and/or man-made ingredients.

So, to celebrate National Junk Food Day tomorrow, July 21, I will indulge in my favorite sweet and savory junk foods: the TastyKake Butterscotch Krimpets (the substitution of "c" for "k" lets you know it's really fake) and Bugles, the only snack chip I've found that has virtually no fiber and the highest proportion of saturated fat (thanks, coconut oil!). Maybe I'll even wash both down with a large glass of Mountain Dew.

Readers, how do you define junk food and what are your favorite examples?