I arrive at Tony's Mexican Restaurant (2222 Ella Blvd., 713-862-6516) for my friend Swener's birthday extravaganza knowing that both the night and a good portion of the next day will be sacrificed to the skanky bitch that is a margarita-and-Tex-Mex hangover. This is the kind of night that tends to lead to questions like "Why did I puke in the sink?" and "Yes, Officer, I understand my rights. Could you please loosen the handcuffs?" Tony's is well known around the city for three things: always being packed to near-capacity, the best queso dip in Houston and these killer, guaranteed-to-knock-you-on-your-ass frozen margaritas. I always assumed that this was because they use Everclear as the secret ingredient, but some of the birthday crew disagrees. After a couple of rounds and a lively debate, I decide to ask the bartender to clarify it once and for all. After shaking hands with him, I realize that I don't speak Spanish and he doesn't speak English. Just as I'm about to give up, this beautiful brunette offers her assistance: "He says they don't have Everclear margaritas." I insist that both my stomach and my sink can attest that there is Everclear in these damn margaritas. And even after El Bartendero again swears there isn't, I remain unconvinced.
1 ounce 1800 Tequila
1 ounce Grand Marnier
Tony's Mexican Restaurant
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10 ounces margarita mix
0 ounces Everclear
Combine 1800 Tequila, Grand Marnier and margarita mix in shaker. Shake vigorously. Pour over ice in margarita glass. Remember to clean the sink.