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Top 5 Awkwardly Named Grocery Store Products

Why am I slapping the woman who gave birth to me again?
Why am I slapping the woman who gave birth to me again?
Photo by Joanna O'Leary.

Bizarrely named foreign foods (e.g., Spotted Dick) are always good for a laugh, but what about the weird monikers that grace the labels of products on our own shelves? Here are five awkwardly titled domestic grocery store products. Bet you can't ask Grandma to pick them up at the store for you without blushing.

5. Foulds Macaroni and Cheese. Either way I pronounce this name suggests something not quite right. "Foul" macaroni and cheese? "Fool's" macaroni and cheese? Just reading it on a grocery list makes me cringe. I'll stick to Kraft.

Doesn't quite come trippingly off the tongue.
Doesn't quite come trippingly off the tongue.
Photo by Joanna O'Leary.

4. BAWLS Energy Drinks. Given that one of their slogans is "It takes BAWLS to be unstoppable," I'm sure this company is well aware of its product's double entendre. And though I have no idea about the quality of these beverages, I won't risk trying them lest I accidentally tell the world how much I enjoy BAWLS.

3. Walker & Sons "Slap Ya Mama" Cajun Seasoning. Yeah, I get that this name derives from the expression, "X so good, you'll want to slap your mama." Oh wait, no I don't. Delicious food has never made me violent (bad service, on the other hand...). I can't imagine backhanding my mother for dishing up some spectacularly seasoned fried chicken, but given the popularity of this product, I must be in the minority.

2. Professor Phardtpounders' Colon Cleaner Hot Sauce. Nothing wrong with wanting to flush out the system with a little spice. If, however, you are feeling a bit stuffed up and simultaneously jonesin' for some hot sauce, do you really want to announce it to the world? Don't answer that.

1. Cat's Pee On a Gooseberry Bush Sauvignon Blanc.

"Honey, I'm going to Spec's. Want anything?"

"Oh yes! Can you pick me up a bottle of Cat's Pee? We're fresh out."

Enough said.



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