What Are Our Crazy Old Relatives Bringing to Thanksgiving? A Handy Chart

A previous investigation. Click for larger view.
A previous investigation. Click for larger view.
Photo illustration by John Gray

We've already shown you what your lazier relatives are going to bring to the family Thanksgiving table, but what about the family's "senior eccentrics"? Don't be shy, now, we've all got 'em: the family members who, through the ravages of age, have largely taken leave of their senses.

Senility itself isn't really a funny thing. Indeed, it's a reminder of the many, many indignities the uncaring universe will inflict upon us - whether we deserve them or not - as we near the end of this pointless, raging shitstorm we call "life." So really, what else is there to do but laugh? You can't let the universe have all the fun, after all, and even the looniest old coot will have the occasional chuckle at the whacked-out things their malfunctioning brains have them do.

With that in mind, let's take a fond and respectful look at the things your elder family members will be bringing to the Thanksgiving festivities. And no matter how goofy they get, please, enjoy them while they're still around.

Click to enlarge image.
Click to enlarge image.
Photo illustration by John Seaborn Gray

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