10 Reasons Why Your Waiter Is Judging You

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10. You ask for drinks without ice.

Unless you have an awful toothache or other predisposition against cold beverages, a waiter will take this as you being cheap, trying to get more bang for your beverage-buck by leaving the ice out. Oh, you want your cocktail without ice, or with "just a tiny bit of ice?" That's cool, the barkeep will be happy to pour the same six-count of vodka he'd normally pour, top it off with tonic and a lime, and watch you enjoy a tepid, weak-tasting drink. Whatever you like, but gross.

Here's some cold hard truth: Your waiter is judging you. And it's not because you scanned our restaurant's list of preachy, precious dishes made with esoteric (but local!) ingredients and then asked what celeriac or chimicurri are. Waiters don't care about that. Answering questions like that is their job. No, it's not about what you know, it's about how you act, and your waiter is surveying you to determine whether you're a badly behaved diner. How do they know? Presenting the 10 most obvious signs. By Hannah Palmer Egan. Follow her! @FindThatHannah

All illustrations by Kevin Cannon, cartoonist

See also:
5 Drink Orders That Let Everyone Know You're an Asshole
The 10 Worst People in NYC Restaurants

Published on September 16, 2013

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10 comments
jacobsimonbocanegra
jacobsimonbocanegra

let me get this straight, because i've waitied tables before, youre almost 30, still waiting tables for a living because they dont drug test, you need to make 100$ tonight so u can pay a bill thats due tommorrow, and you telling ME how to behave?? ok......how about u get my order right...

Anyer
Anyer

Far fetched! 

As a waitress this has never crossed my mind.

marinesgirl9206
marinesgirl9206

How is asking for no ice (in a beverage that usually has free refills) cheap? It comes out of the fountain cold and you don't have to refill it as often. That's what you call a win-win. We're the only country this obsessed with ice.

zebra56
zebra56

When I worked at a luxury resort in Sedona we would get Maupin tours.  There is a specific set of people who #1 Refuse to order a dish as it comes on the menu without insisting on substitutions, #2 Refuse to eat the dish unless they've sent it back to the chef at least once and then #3 After all that, they don't tip.  I'd tell you who these people are, but it would not be PC.  And, besides, some of my best friends . . . . .

sdoowe
sdoowe

Why on earth does everyone think that asking for no ice in your drink means you want more drink?!  I ask for no ice because I drink slowly and don't want it to taste all watered down.  Pour me less, I don't care!  At least it won't taste gross by the end.  

Redfishtrout
Redfishtrout

I could care less what the chimp that writes down my order thinks of me.  Just keep my drink filled, get my order right, and you'll get your tip.  That's the transaction.

ducttaperoses
ducttaperoses

I hate ice because I don't like stuff that cold, and it waters down the drinks.  I like Coke or tea to taste like something other than dishwater.  And, yes, I am trying to get more bang for my buck.  Soft drinks are cheap, and I can't drink so much that I'm going to break you; I want more than four ounces of liquid in there for what I'm paying.

stephgreene
stephgreene

I hate ice in my drinks! Always have. I never thought this was being cheap, it just hurts my teeth :(

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