What Vehicle Is Each Presidential Candidate?

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by Craig Malisow

Rudy Giuliani: RICO Rudy has a reputation as a tough, take-action fixer of societal ills. He cleaned up Times Square, liquidated every single homeless person in New York City, and bitch-slapped the Mafia. Who else do you know with this kind of moxy? Why, a certain crack-commando unit convicted of a crime they didnt commit, of course.

Texas Governor Rick Perry recently endorsed Rudy Giuliani, likening the choice to buying a pickup with one option he didn't like. (Abortion, or maybe power steering.) We disagree with the Guv, and offer up our own suggestions.

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