If you have pets and you live in Texas and you’re a moron who chooses PETCO over PetSmart, don’t buy no food from your preferred store today: the FDA has requested a seizure of food stored at their distribution center in Illinois.

Based on my experience at their dimly lit, dungeon-like stores staffed by indifferent, overwhelmingly unhelpful employees, this comes as no surprise. So, uh, yeah. – Craig Malisow

This article appears in Jun 19-25, 2008.

The Houston Press is a nationally award-winning, 34-year-old publication ruled by endless curiosity, a certain amount of irreverence, the desire to get to the truth and to point out the absurd as well...