Aggies Might Cut Out Toilet Paper In Dorms: Students Tighten Belts While Dropping Pants

“Immediate action” and “toilet paper” are often used in the same sentence. But it is usually a need for toilet paper, not the removal of it.

In an effort to save money, Texas A&M is considering getting rid of the toilet paper for students living in the dorms that don’t have communal bathrooms.

The Bryan-College Station Eagle says “The toilet paper savings would wipe away about $82,000 of the $2.2 million that Student Affairs has been charged to reduce in its operating budget for fiscal year 2012.”

In an e-mail to students and staff, Aggie president Dr. R. Bowen Loftin
said things could get worse: “The state could face a budget shortfall of
anywhere from $11 billion to $18 billion for the upcoming FY2012-2013
biennium when the 82nd Legislature convenes in January 2011.”

How much worse can it get than no toilet paper?

Aggies, we know, are survivors. But here are some things, besides the
obvious, they’ll have to give up in the Great TP Purge of 2010:

1.
Wrapping the Dean of Student Affairs’ House
College students are
broke, so if they’re going to do some real wrapping they’re going to
need the aid of the university.

2. Turning Friends into
Mummies
Students will no longer have the fun of pretending to be
Brendan Fraser running through North Gate away from a mummy (We don’t
think this has ever happened, but it still would be fun to see).

3.
Stuffing Your Bra
We don’t know if all Aggie girls are
flat-chested, but there might be a few more boys disappointed when they
go to find someone to kiss for Midnight Yell.

4. No More Art
Projects Using Empty Rolls of Toilet Paper
This is an engineering
school, so no more art projects might be a good thing.

5.
Wiping Away the Tears When UT Beats them
Really: When was the
last time they could compete with them?