Well, my nearly four-year long study has finished, with predictable results. Scarlett Johansson is indeed very hot. After doing extensive study of The Island (seriously, have you ever seen it??), various magazine covers and the trash outside her house, the above conclusion has been made. It was a long and arduous trial, which finally ended today, when I read this nugget about Ms. Johansson.
You see, for the past year, it’s been rumored that she was going to record an album. Now we get word that it’s to be produced by Dave Sitek, from TV on the Radio, with guest spots from the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, among others.
So just to be clear: Not only does she look like this, star in Bob Dylan AND Justin Timberlake’s music videos and sing back-up for Jesus and Mary Chain, she also records albums with enough indie cred to feed a family of four and choke their donkey. This is why the terrorists will never, ever win.
Put this in your hookah and smoke it, Osama! – Craig Hlavaty
This article appears in Aug 2-8, 2007.
