Gary Kubiak had his normal postmortem press conference yesterday wherein he rehashed the disastrous Sunday afternoon loss to the Indianapolis Colts. And it was more of the same. The team tried hard. The Colts are a great team. But what you don’t know is that Kubiak actually had a list of ten excuses for explaining the loss.
Don’t worry, though, I found the list, and I’m going to share it with you.
10. Hey, after the devastation caused by Hurricane Ike, you people are lucky we could even make it out to the field for the first play.
9. That was a real game? I thought we were filming another one of those Peyton Manning commercials.
8. Now, don’t get mad at Sage. I told him that if wasn’t sure what to do, to ask WWJED? What would John Elway do? However, John Elway wouldn’t fumble.
7. I was in shock that Ahman Green hadn’t gotten injured yet, so I wasn’t quite sure about what to do.
6. Hey, it’s not like I lost another replay challenge.
5. I’m trying to erase forever your memories of that Buffalo-Houston game.
4. I thought about another one of the direct snap trick plays to Ahman Green, but I was afraid he would get hurt.
3. The roof was open and the heat got to me. I should’ve read those heat tips in the Chron.
2. Hey, don’t blame me. I thought Peyton Manning retired to join the Double Stuff Racing League.
1. Have you guys seen how our defense plays? I’m just trying to make sure that we’re in the best position possible to draft another defensive lineman with the very first choice in the draft.
— John Royal
This article appears in Oct 5-30, 2008.
