Cinco de Mayo is a day for Americans of Mexican descent to commemorate
their rich history and heritage while at the same time trying to ignore
the legions of mouth-breathing Chron commenters clamoring for
their deportation.
And if being blamed for the H1N1 (don’t call it swine) flu outbreak
wasn’t enough, Mexicans have also have had to suffer the indignity of having
non-Mexican actors portraying them in the movies.
5. Mel Blanc (as Speedy Gonzales)
When the Cartoon Network acquired exclusive rights to the Speedy
catalog, they didn’t play them for fear of being accused of racism. None
other than the League of United Latin American Citizens (LULAC) stepped
in to trumpet the mouse’s…positive aspects. We eagerly await the
formation of the Baba Looey Anti-Defamation League.
4. Wallace Beery (as Pancho Villa) — Viva Villa! (1934)
Personally, I find the fact that a paunchy, balding white guy is playing
one of the heroes of Mexican history less offensive than the fact the
same paunchy, balding white guy is getting his mitts all over Fay Wray.
Sure puts that “giant ape” shout-out from Rocky Horror into
perspective.
3. Lou Diamond Phillips (as Ritchie Valens) — La Bamba (1987)
The problem isn’t so much that the
Scottish-Irish-Hawaiian-Cherokee-Filipino-Japanese Phillips couldn’t
adequately pass as the Mexican-American Valens, but that he couldn’t
sing. That’s Los Lobos providing the actual music.
2. Marlon Brando (as Emiliano Zapata) — Viva Zapata! (1952)
If one of your nation’s earliest heroes is portrayed by a white man who
just happens to be the greatest actor of his generation, is it really
*that* offensive? What about Denzel Washington playing Ben Franklin? Or
that other Washington?
1. Charlon Heston (as Ramon Miguel Vargas) — Touch of Evil (1958)
Orson Welles was a great director, but apparently lacked the authority
to get Heston to “un-Moses” his performance here. With every line,
Vargas sounds like he’s about to part the Rio Grande.
This article appears in Apr 30 – May 6, 2009.
