You can act like Houston hosting one of the biggest sporting events of
the year isn’t that big a deal, but 70,000 screaming whack-jobs with
rage issues descending upon our fair city from the four corners of the
earth would probably disagree. And if you think wrestling contributes
nothing of value to the culture at large, you obviously aren’t aware of
the cinema adventures of some of the “sport’s” greatest talents:
5. “Rowdy” Roddy Piper – They Live (1988)
By appearing in this — John Carpenter’s last decent film — and
Hell Comes to Frogtown, Piper has secured a position in the
geek firmament that could only be challenged by likes of Richard Dean
Anderson. Or maybe Denise Ryan.
4. El Santo – Santo and Blue Demon Against the Monsters (1970)
Scoff if you must, but while other guys on the list may have battled
aliens or evil princes, none of them had the stones to fight Dracula,
the Mummy, Frankenstein’s monster, or a Cyclopean zombie…all in
the same movie. El Santo is, and forever shall be, El Hombre:
3. Jesse “The Body” Ventura – Predator (1987)
Blain is one of the great gay characters in cinema history, and Mac’s
(Bill Duke) mournful soliloquy following his death puts Ryan O’Neal
crying over Ali MacGraw to shame.
2. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – The Rundown (2003) Johnson is easily the most marketable wrestler-turned-actor to come down
the pike since, well, Hulk Hogan. Unlike Hogan, The Actor Formerly Known
as the Rock actually has some chops. He also has the most overt agenda
for getting famous since, well, Linda Hogan.
1. Andre the Giant – The Princess Bride (1986)
Andre’s condition (acromegaly) meant he’d never be cast as anything but
the heavy (he played Bigfoot on The Six Million Dollar Man, for
crying out loud), but plenty of people were surprised at his portrayal
of the gentle Fezzik, even if we were secretly hoping he’d give Prince
Humperdinck the patented tombstone piledriver.
This article appears in Apr 2-8, 2009.
