Jon & Kate Plus 8 (a.k.a. Look at the Man With the Dead Eyes as His Angry Wife Castrates Him In Front of America). 18 Kids and Counting (a.k.a. Making Babies for Jesus). And now, Table for 12, yet another reality show that follows people who apparently were too embarrassed to buy condoms at the Walgreens.
Table for 12 follows the Hayes family — 10 kids, two parents. You know Jon & Kate gotta be quaking in their boots right about now with their measly eight kids. The Duggar clan of 18 Kids and Counting should be okay for a while, especially since the oldest son has married and will almost certainly be spawning a super clan of his own shortly. (I smell spin-off!)
It’s not that I don’t like babies. Frankly, I adore them. I coo at them, pick them up and cuddle them, slip a little whiskey into their bottles so they’ll stop crying. Love `em.
But to be trapped in a house with 10 of them makes me want to break out in hives. Why do these families get such press? Why do they keep getting their own shows?
There’s bound to be a sort of car crash look-at-it factor. The insane
amount of work involved in doing laundry, the ridiculous amount of
money spent on feeding a family the size of some small Texas towns,
etc. But these folks also generate a huge fan base with devoted
followers who buy their books, post on message boards, and discuss
every move they make with clutched hands and smiling faces.
Not
to get all Freud 101, but could it be that their devoted followers had
rotten childhoods and the only way they can create a happy place in
their heads is by recreating a life that makes them feel part of the
insanity that is a gigantic family? Who knows. At any rate, I don’t
know what the attraction is, but please, no more shows about big-ass
families trying to buy a car or go to the park. I have enough stress in
my life as it is.
This article appears in Apr 2-8, 2009.