Title: Halloween Ends
Describe This Movie In One Scream Quote:
VOICE: Do you like scary movies?
SIDNEY: What’s the point? They’re all the same: some stupid killer stalking some big-breasted girl who can’t act who’s always running up the stairs when she should be running out the front door.
Brief Plot Synopsis: One of Hollywood’s most enduring couples calls it quits.
Rating Using Random Objects Relevant To The Film: 2 Peter Venkmans out of 5.
Tagline: “Evil dies tonight.”
Better Tagline: “Who the hell is still trick-or-treating in this town?”
Not So Brief Plot Synopsis: It’s been four years (in this timeline) since Michael Myers (James Jude Courtney) returned to terrorize the residents of Haddonfield, IL. Since his subsequent disappearance, perpetual target Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) has tried to move on from the death of her daughter, writing a book about her experiences while living with granddaughter Allyson (Andi Matichak). Meanwhile, Allyson has begun making time with Corey (Rohan Campbell), a young man with a tragic history of his own.
“Critical” Analysis: After 44 years, 12 movies, four timelines, and 150+ murders of varying grotesqueness, the Michael Myers saga finally reaches its climax with Halloween Ends, the final film in David Gordon Green’s (allegedly) conclusive trilogy.
But how conclusive is it really? Jamie Lee Curtis has quit the franchise a couple times before, and much like contemporaries Jason Voorhees and Freddy Krueger, Michael Myers has proven exceedingly hard to kill. Unsurpisinigly, all of that comes into play in Ends, and the final result will likely be as satisfying (or not) as you make it.
If Halloween Kills boosted the body count while sidelining Laurie Strode, Ends takes the opposite tack. We don’t get our first bona fide Shape murder until over 45 minutes in. Meanwhile, Laurie is attempting to exorcise her PTSD in book form, while also casting a gimlet eye over the budding romance between Corey and Allyson.
The added Curtis content (this might be the best she’s chewed scenery in these movies since H20) comes courtesy of Green’s send-off for one of the original Final Girls. For sure, Halloween Ends delivers all the expected victims: the shitty teenagers, the asshole cop, the hapless passerby, but all we’re really here for is the ultimate confrontation between Michael and Laurie. In that respect, the movie mostly comes through.
What doesn’t is the romantic subplot between Allyson and Corey, the babysitter with a Tragic Past. At first, you could be forgiven for assuming there was some weird agenda behind it: is Allyson more than she seems? Is Green trying out a stealth remake of Badlands? And why hasn’t she gotten the hell out of Haddonfield already? For that matter, why hasn’t everybody?
Campbell himself is a bit distracting, because Corey comes across like Anton Yelchin playing “Scorpio” from Dirty Harry. Green also goes in on the same goofy mythology of Kills by somehow implying that the town of Haddonfield itself is responsible for Michael Myers, as well as what comes after.
The idea of a physical location serving as a locus of evil is something more appropriate to a Stephen King novel than the final chapter in a slasher franchise, especially when Green himself introduced (and continues) an alternative theory for Michael’s longevity in Kills. But as we’ve already discussed, mere “slasher” movies just aren’t done anymore. Green’s attempts at reinvention end up slightly more successful than previous efforts, but that may be solely due to the … finality of the proceedings.
You have to hand it to Green for trying something new for the first time since … Halloween III: Season of the Witch? The relative low quantity of kills is made up for by their quality (the first death is especially jarring), insofar as they tend to be pretty gnarly, and Curtis is always worth watching. Still, lots of time wasted and not entirely satisfying.
Halloween Ends is in theaters and streaming on Peacock today.
This article appears in Jan 1 – Dec 31, 2022.
