May 26 – Jun 1, 2011

May 26 - Jun 1, 2011 / Vol. 23 / No. 22

“Ancient Ukraine — Golden Treasures and Lost Civilizations”

Houstonians will have a chance to experience an archaeological mystery in the Tryptilian culture when “Ancient Ukraine — Golden Treasures and Lost Civilizations” opens at the Houston Museum of Natural Science. The Tryptilians, whose civilization dates back 7,000 years, lived in tightly packed communities of 10,000 to 15,000 people. “Roughly…

“Perplexed”

The Houston street art scene might be as hot as it’s ever been. Alex “Primo” Luster’s documentary about Houston wheat paste artists, Stick ’Em Up!, recently had its sold-out premiere at the River Oaks Theatre, and the director was profiled in the Houston Press earlier this month in a feature…

“For the Man: The 9-to-5 Show”

Filmmaker and arts activist Stephanie Saint Sanchez is redefining what it means to be a “working artist.” It’s well known that art rarely pays the bills — most artists hold down 9-to-5 jobs, producing art on their own time. So for the exhibit Saint Sanchez curated at Gallery 1724, “For…

The Money in Uncle George’s Suitcase

The play The Money in Uncle George’s Suitcase, written by local playwright Pat Cook, is a humorous look at the dysfunction of family life, especially when money gets involved. Long-winded old-timer George brings his family to his country cabin because he has something to share: his will. But when he…

The Pillowman

Martin McDonagh’s 2003 play The Pillowman is indeed grim material. In an unnamed totalitarian state, a writer of gruesome short stories — they contain graphic descriptions of child torture and murder — is interrogated by two policemen for his implication in a series of actual killings. Turns out the writer…

Comment of the Day

It’s nice to know that our weekly Where Are We Eating? posts inspire more than just bleary-eyed Monday morning stabs at the correct answer. On today’s post about Pondicheri, commenter Kelly told us that a recent Where Are We Eating? photo first inspired her to try what we think is…

Sgt. Pepper & Three Other Bum Albums By Rock Icons

It was 40 (four) years ago today – in the UK, and tomorrow in the U.S. – that Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play, history stopped, the Summer of Love began, and critics freaked the fuck out. When the Beatles released their LSD-soaked counterpunch to the Beach Boys’ Pet…

Fast Times: Salad at Chipotle

Timing is everything, isn’t it? I decided that on the day I was to begin my takeover of Fast Times, I would also begin my “peeling off the 10 damn pounds this city has provided me” project. So, where to eat, and quickly, that will do minimum damage to the…

The “Mischievous and Dreamy Flourishes” of Jackie Gendel

Houston-born Jackie Gendel paints portraits and people in a style that recalls a number of late-19th-early-20th-century French painters, but with cranked-up distortion. Her people are constantly obscured by a surface abstraction, or they retreat into the background, virtually faceless with the furniture and décor surrounding them. Chaty and Marthe in…

Ransom Old Tom Gin: Not Your Mother’s Gin

A friend and I had just settled in to the bar at Simone on Sunset, a new wine and cocktail bar in Rice Village, when she commenced her preaching on the subject of gin. “I consider myself a gin missionary,” she said. “A ginvangelist?” I punned back. “Yes,” she declared…

Leroy Franklin, Maker Of First Texas Rap Record, Dies At 58

Leroy Franklin, who recorded what many believe is the first rap song in the state of Texas, died Monday in Austin, Franklin’s label Heavy Light Records said. He was 58. Heavy Light owner Noel Waggener said the cause was cancer, which had just been diagnosed in December and had been…

Topless Movie Reviews: Sure, Why Not? (Very NSFW)

Back in February, the website Topless Movie Reviews went live with its first video, with porn star Tyler Faith reviewing the film I Am Number Four. Yes, these are film reviewers, around a minute long, by topless porn actresses. The videos are only not safe for work because of the…

Rock Of Ages: Big Hair, Big Fog, Big Cliches

Ed Note: Rocks Off and our sister blog Art Attack are conducting a “reviewer exchange program” for the ’80s musical Rock of Ages. One of our “rock and roll” people will review the show soon, but the visiting team bats first. The Setup: ’80s Sunset Strip rock venue Bourbon Room…

Brunch? Mexican!

There are events that mark every generation. “What were you doing when the towers came down?” is a question that will always linger for those of us who witnesed it. On that day, I remember just wanting to be on familiar ground with loved ones. And so, two of my…

Rock of Ages All Glitter, No Glam

The set-up: ’80s Sunset Strip rock venue Bourbon Room is slated for demolition from an evil German developer. Sweet horny rock mavens sit around and do nothing while sweet young ingénues who dream of being stars, fresh from Kansas or someplace like that — it really doesn’t matter because you’ve…

Songs About A Blonde: Happy Birthday Marilyn Monroe

Marilyn Monroe is one of the first of many women that will completely floor any red-blooded man, gay or straight, at first glance. There is simply no way that those eyes, that smile, that shock of blonde hair, and that figure can leave you feeling devoid of emotion. Girls want…

7th Annual Urban Harvest Tomato Fest

To me, tomatoes are one of summer’s quintessential foods. I think of a crisp salad with juicy, ripe tomatoes or fresh sliced tomatoes with just a sprinkle of sea salt. There is so much to do with this versatile fruit and, of course, the best tomatoes can be found at…

Happy 85th Birthday, Marilyn Monroe

Had she lived, Marilyn Monroe would be turning 85 years old today. What would this American sex symbol be like as an 85-year-old woman? Marilyn died long before I was born, but I was a fan from the time I was teenager and staying up late “doing my homework” exposed…

Camera Catches Arsonist Red-Handed

Houston Fire Department investigators are still trying to catch a serial arsonist in southwest Houston, and right now they’re pinning their hopes on some grainy security-cam footage. Fire Marshall Richard Galvan tells Hair Balls the investigation is a high priority, but no motive has been established for what might be…

Pondicheri: The Best New Restaurant of the Year

Now, I realize that it’s only just now June, just today. And that declaring something the best new restaurant of 2011 this early in the year is a risky proposition. But that’s how much Pondicheri, the new restaurant from Anita Jaisinghani, has impressed me in its few months of operation…

The Voice: Battle Round 4

I’m disappointed in this reality show. Have I already told you that? I’m sorry if I’m repeating myself, but these battle rounds are ridiculous–almost as ridiculous as Carson Daly. The only thing keeping me in this–besides my recap commitment, which I take very seriously–is the fact that I really do…

Brew Blog: Jester King Black Metal Imperial Stout

I had meant to drink something lighter. The day had started out a little bit muggy, and I was bringing home dumplings for dinner. Something fruity, perhaps with a bit of citrus, was in the offing. Then, the rain came. Lord knows we needed it. Still do, actually. As I…

Last Night: Papa Roach At Warehouse Live

Papa Roach Warehouse Live May 31, 2011 If you ever leave a rock show and your ears are not ringing, then you should have spent your money somewhere else. Tuesday night at Warehouse Live, Papa Roach damn near made Aftermath’s ears bleed. Combining ridiculous volume with brilliant lighting and bone-shattering…

Meme Of The Week: Women With Mens’ Chests

Welcome to the jungle, men of America. Have a fun time trying imagine the hot sexiness that is the bootylicious Kim Kardashian or childless hag Jennifer Aniston after you have seen them sporting killer abs and rocking pecs in this week’s meme, Women With Mens’ Chests…

Radio Galaxy: Lost In Space, But Down To Earth

Each Wednesday, Rocks Off arbitrarily appoints one lucky local performer or group “Artist of the Week,” bestowing upon them all the fame and grandeur such a lofty title implies. Know a band or artist that isn’t awful? Email their particulars to sheaserrano@gmail.com. This past weekend, we happened across a performance…

Aeros Keeping Their Eye on the Prize

John RoyalJed Ortmeyer, the veteran leaderThe Aeros’ record on Christmas Day was 17-15-1-2. They were in seventh place in the division. They were in the midst of a long stretch of road games. They had been defeated 5-0 by the Hamilton Bulldogs in their most recent game, they had lost…

Discount Dining: Quattro at the Four Seasons

Groupon.com recently offered a $40 voucher for $20 to Quattro at the Four Seasons Hotel. It just so happens Chef Maurizio Ferrarese’s will be one of the contenders in the Who’s Your Chef? competition at the upcoming Italian Expo, so this was a good opportunity for me to try some…

Texas Rep’s The Foreigner “Irresistible”

The set-up: Pathologically shy Englishman Charlie (Jeffrey Lane), a dear friend of U.K. staff sergeant Froggy (Steven Fenley), is brought by his friend to a fishing lodge in rural Georgia for a much-needed R&R to cheer him up after learning of his wife’s cancer and, more shocking, her constant infidelities…

Pattie Shieh What? Taped Curse Gets on Fox 26

Mike McGuff caught this blooper from last night’s Fox 26 broadcast. Reporter Pattie Shieh flubs a stand-up and reacts as most anyone would. The inexplicable thing is that it wasn’t live, it was taped, and still made it on the air. For what it’s worth, this is Shieh’s Facebook avatar:…

Ingredient of the Week: Firm Tofu

What is it? The word “tofu” is derived from the Japanese word, which itself is derived from the Chinese word that means “curdled” or “fermented beans.” Also called bean curd, tofu is made by cooking and mashing mature soybeans, and then processing them in a method similar to making cheese…

Comment of the Day: Who Cares About Game of Thrones?

We have been devoting a lot of space here on the blog to HBO’s hit series Game of Thrones, from our weekly recaps to last week’s guest Pop Rocks column to this week’s regularly scheduled Pop Rocks. Yes, we love Game of Thrones, and judging by the popularity of the…

App of the Week: Three Hurricane Tracking Apps Just in Time for Hurricane Season

App: Hurricane Platforms: iPhone Web site: Apple Link Cost: $3.99 App: iHurricane HD Platforms: iPhone, Android, Windows Mobile Web site: Download Link Cost: $2.99 App: Hurricane Tracker Platforms: iPhone Web site: Apple Link Cost: $0.99 I feel like all I write about lately is hurricanes. Well, lucky you, here’s something else about them. In this case, it is technology related. Atlantic hurricane…

Dudely Jones: Extra Hugs For Extra Thugs

Evan Cassidy of the Dudely Jones Comedy Tribe is one of the finest comedy rappers around. We’ve continuously chronicled his unique brand of hilarious hip-hop on subjects as vast as his pimptastic dinosaur sweater, being the most modest man in mainstream music, and his lament at his own gingerism. That…

Sampler Plate: This Week in Food Blogs

Each week, we put together a sampler plate of the most interesting links from both local and national food blogs. Know a blog we should be paying particular attention to? Leave the address in the comments section below. Barleyvine: The termination of House Bill 602 in the Texas legislature last…

Top Five Clint Eastwood Soundtracks

Today the one and only Clint Eastwood turns 81 years old, and he can still kick your ass. According to the Internet Movie Database, the octogenarian is currently in post-production of his next film, J. Edgar, starring Leonardo DiCaprio as the late cross-dressing FBI director. Because he has won every…

Comment of the Day

Our wine blogger Jeremy Parzen had one of the best headlines to date on Eating Our Words this afternoon with “Cat Piss in Your Wine? No, That’s Jalapeño.” It even inspired commenter Trisch to share her own favorite “tom cat” wine: Speaking of cat piss, check out Coopers Creek Cat’s…

Veggie Vietnamese Noodle Soup at San San Tofu

Vietnamese vegetarian dishes oftentimes imitate non-vegetarian ones, like veggie duck, veggie meatballs, veggie char-siu, and veggie caramelized fish. It’s amazing what can be done in shape, color and texture to approximate the real thing, but this culinary art form used to be confined to the kitchens of Buddhist temples. At…

Upcoming: Judas Priest, Thin Lizzy, Peter Bjorn & John, Etc.

Bowling For Soup, The Dollyrots, Sunderland: Fri., Aug. 19. Warehouse Live. Breathe Carolina, Chiodos, I See Stars: Thu., July 28. Warehouse Live. Craig Kinsey, Sara Van Buskirk, Benjamin Wesley: Fri., June 10. Heights Live. The Damned Things: Wed., Aug. 17. House of Blues. The Dead Revolt, Featherface, Infinite Apaches: Fri.,…

Annise Parker: Lamest “Gay Agenda” Ever

Dave Wilson, the homophobe who did everything he could to derail Annise Parker’s mayoral race, is at it again, mass-mailing people to try to drum up a candidate to oppose her re-election, the Houston Chronicle reports. Wilson says Parker has promoted a “gay agenda” and lists such examples as, the…

First Look at Heights Ashbury

“I know they tried to name this place after San Francisco,” my friend Hala said as we walked into Heights Ashbury last Friday afternoon. “But there’s no way you could accidentally mistake this for San Francisco.” She looked around at the Uncle Charlie poster art on one bright orange wall…

Happy Birthday Clint Eastwood: Our Favorite Fight Scenes

It’s no wonder Marty McFly chose “Clint Eastwood” as his moniker when he went back to the old west in the horrendous third installment of the Back to the Future movies: the gaunt, leathery, steely-eyed Man With No Name became the blueprint for our modern imaginings of wild west outlaws,…

Build-A-Bar: Crème de Violete

Hopefully you’ve all gone out and gathered the requisite supplies, so we can get down to the real business at hand — booze, and how to use it. Sure, you could just drink it neat. In fact, that’s the first thing I do whenever I’m trying out a new spirit…

Temps Perdu: Kerry Adams at Spacetaker

Installation artist Kerry Adams has plenty of experience with creating time-consuming and labor-intensive works, but in her prior installations, that meant a lot of sometimes non-traditional handicraft: monumental crocheting, suspending 500 teacups in a room, or stringing up and shaping 5,000 feet of cable from the ceiling. In her project…

Unidentified Male, Bayou Body Count No. 76

A Houston woman has been charged with intoxication manslaughter in connection with a one-vehicle crash early Sunday that killed her brother and injured a toddler and infant. Michelle Alcocer, 22, was driving a Chevy Tahoe at a high rate of speed northbound on Yale when she began skidding in the…

Garden Fresh: Five Hot Weather Plants

Once the temp hits 96, in the shade, most garden crops won’t set fruit. The peppers, tomatoes and cucumbers already growing will continue to do so, but few new ones will appear. That’s when I turn my attention to things that grow in pots, which can be easily watered and…

Rodrigo Caballero Cisneros, 30, Bayou Body Count No. 75

A drunk driver ran a red light and killed another man early Saturday morning, police say. Nefi Cruz, 22, has been charged with intoxication manslaughter in the death of Rodrigo Caballero Cisneros, 30, in the incident that happened about 2 a.m. at the intersection of the West Sam Houston Parkway…

Tuesday, May 31, 2011 Deals of the Day

It’s an exciting morning, when you open your email to find that the VOICE Daily Deal is HALF OFF at the best barbeque in town. Today’s VOICE Daily Deal is good for Gatlin’s Barbecue, the Houston Press’s pick for Best BBQ Restaurant in 2010. • VOICE Daily Deal at Houstonpress.com:…

Saturday: Jack Freeman & Radio Galaxy At The Breakfast Klub

Jack Freeman (feat. Montana), Radio Galaxy The Breakfast Klub May 28, 2011 12:30 p.m.: Jack Freeman, local R&B wunderkind, attained “I Need To Listen To Whatever This Guy Sends Me As Soon As He Sends It To Me” status* last year when he released his impressive, alluring Dark Liquor EP…

6 Iconic Fashion Ad Campaigns

In another life I would love to be a fashion photographer, but in this life? Mario Testino I am not. While I’ve always loved fashion, it was Testino’s images of Princess Diana that first got me interested in fashion photography and advertisements. Some campaigns are more memorable than others; whether…

New Venue The Flamingo Room Has A Leg Up

Astute readers of the Houston Press’ and Rocks Off’s local concert calendars might have noticed that a new venue is pulling some names into town. Sidled up to the Gulf Freeway just minutes from Hobby Airport, The Flamingo Room is Houston’s newest mid-level venue. Rumors of the establishment’s launch have…

Steak and Eggs at Ninfa’s on Navigation

I woke up late on Sunday morning, fully enjoying the holiday weekend, with a growling hunger for Mexican breakfast. Growing up Texan means that sometimes “regular” breakfast won’t cut it; there will occasionally arise a deep and abiding need in your stomach that only refried beans and tortillas can fill…

Theatre Southwest’s Intricate, Amusing Asylum

The set-up: Sweet, nerdy Gary (Chris Patton), who seems permanently stuck somewhere near adolescence, finds himself drawn deeper and deeper into his dream world until he can’t tell reality from fantasy. Will his dreams pull him into madness? The execution: Dream plays, one of the earliest forms of theater, only…

Tilman Fertitta’s Yacht Will Save Atlantic City

Tilman Fertitta is coming to the aid of New Jersey people who own yachts and like casinos. Someone had to, it appears. Landry’s, Fertitta’s chain-seafood/casino company, has purchased the Trump Marina Hotel Casino in that jewel by the sea known as Atlantic City. With it comes operation rights over the…

Keep on Truckin’: Good Dog Hot Dog

Each week I’ll be visiting a different food truck and reviewing one of their items. Know of a particular food truck I should move to the top of my list? Let me know in the comments section. This week, I found myself in the Heights for a Good Dog Hot…

Friday Night: Rick Springfield & Spin Doctors At Arena Theatre

Rick Springfield, Spin Doctors Arena Theatre May 27, 2011 Looking around at the Arena Theatre audience Friday – heavily populated by forty- and fiftysomething women on a little Girls Night Out – it would be easy to dismiss them as estrogen bombs just waiting to detonate upon the arrival of…

Burning Bones Press Aims to Revive the Craft of Printmaking

In today’s world of digital self-publishing and graphic design programs, one can create an illuminated manuscript of the Harry Potter books that looks like it was done by 16th-century monks with a lot of time on their hands and more artistic skill than fashion sense. But local graphic artist Carlos…

My Five Favorite Virgin Cocktails

For the record, I am not pregnant. But a startling proportion of my friends are heading into their second and third trimesters this summer and therefore are unable to join me in multiple rounds of margaritas. Rather than drink alone, I have decided to explore the world of non-alcoholic cocktails…

Comment of the Day: Our Lack of Internal Beauty

We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…

Comment of the Day: Comicpalooza

Our intrepid reporter Jef With One F headed out to Comicpalooza over the weekend and provided us with coverage of the happy-happs in the comic world and its admirers, including quite a few folks in costume. He even went so far as to remark on the cuteness of one girl…

Game Of Thrones: The Series Vs. The Book

HBO’s epic series based on George R.R. Martin first novel in the Song of Ice and Fire series concludes next month. I’ve been doing my best to sum up the adventures of the Starks, Lannisters and Targaryens each week in such a way that newcomers to the story wouldn’t be…

Joseph Haydn: The Travels of His Purloined Noggin

The old joke goes something like this: “Why couldn’t they find Beethoven’s teacher?” “Because he was Haydn?” “No, because they stole his freakin’ skull and passed it around for phrenologist to fondle!” Ok, the old joke stops before the decapitation of one of the greatest composers who ever lived. Joseph…

Forget MySpace: Hair Balls Is Now on Facebook!

Cutting-edge? You bet. While others may scoff, we think this whole “Facebook” thing has a chance to succeed, and we’re going all in. The Houston Press has long had its own FB page, of course. And Hair Balls has been on Twitter for a while. Not to mention that followers…

Where Are We Drinking?

The bartender who poured me this glass of Côte de Brouilly said with a sigh that most people don’t think very much of Beaujolais wines. But this one was quite different, with a ripe berry flavor and lots of personality. Even Blue State Carpetbagger agrees. And on a hot afternoon,…

100 Creatives: David A. Brown

What he does: David A. Brown is a photographer and entrepreneur motivated by non-profit organizations, environmental causes and his family. As creator of his photo company DABFOTO he and 40 contractors focus on digital imaging, consultation and web services. He is founder and former executive director of Spacetaker and has…

The Five Worst Tropical Weather Events in Houston History

Houston and Galveston, like any cities along the Gulf and Atlantic coasts of the U.S., are always vulnerable to tropical weather. The scariest of these events is most definitely the hurricane, with its fierce winds and massive storm surge. But, other types of tropical weather can cause significant damage as…

Comment of the Day

Joanna O’Leary had a delicious Italian meal at Fratelli’s and decided that the restaurant was worth driving outside the loop for. Which gave commenter Laurie pause: Heaven forbid! Outside the Loop! Joanna get over it. It is all of 5 min outside the Loop. A majority of Houston lives outside…

Pan-Fried Dumplings at San Dong Noodle House

Much like our American hamburger, pan-fried dumplings are simple fast food in China. Easy to find, easy to make, cheap to eat, filling and tasty. Here in Houston, you can get pan-fried dumplings at any number of restaurants, but for no-frills, down-home-honest-to-goodness-cheap ones, there is no better place than San…

How Long Will DMX Stay Out Of Jail This Time?

Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Every Monday, even on national holidays, Rocks Off will have some of them hear discussing issues relevant to their culture. This Week’s Panel: Paul Wall, Delo, GT Mayne, Show, Mr. Wired Up Oh Boy, Renzo, hasHBrown, Authentic Snoopy and more Not Invited:…

Comment of the Day: White Pride

We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…

Dinner at Fratelli’s

When I lived in Boston, the proximity of the North End to my apartment meant I ate Italian food fairly regularly. I gnoshed on arancini during street festivals, savored truffled risotto at some high-end joints, and devoured slices loaded with sausage and peppers at Pizzeria Regina. But finding decent Italian…

The Week in TV: The Circle of Life

A lot of entrances and exits to talk about. This was the week in TV Land: • Good news: VH1, which in recent years has given itself over almost entirely to horrid reality shows starring people you would avoid at all costs if you knew them in real life, is…

Hurricane Season 2011: The Predictions

Hurricane season is upon us. Just like Christmas, but with high winds and death from above instead of toys and egg nog, it creeps up on us quicker than we expect and, before we know it, we’re knee deep in a disaster that used to be our living room. Ah,…

What’s Up Doc? Bugs Bunny’s Gweatest Hits

Today is not only Memorial Day, it’s also the birthday of the voice behind many of the most beloved cartoon characters of all time. In his more than 50 years in Hollywood, Mel Blanc (1908-1989) gave audiences countless “Merry Melodies” via Daffy Duck, Porky Pig, Foghorn Leghorn, Yosemite Sam, Tweety…

Local Artists Pay Tribute to Elizabeth Taylor

With a career spanning decades, Elizabeth Taylor became a cultural icon for generations of Americans. To some, she will forever remain a spirited young girl with a passion for horses. For others, a kohl-eyed Egyptian seductress. For children of the ’80s she was the glamourous, big-haired starlet behind the White…

Coffee and Quiche at Croissant Brioche

Last Saturday, my husband and I were caffeine-starved and hungry, but short on time. Needing a fast bite to eat, we cruised around Rice Village, choosing our destination by parking spot availability. When an open space presented itself in front of Croissant Brioche French Bakery, it was a great relief…

11 Modest Suggestions for Jim Crane

After the Astros lose to the Chicago Cubs this afternoon, the 2011 MLB season will be one-third complete. And while it was expected the Astros would be bad, being the worst team in the National League was not expected — an injury-depleted Minnesota Twins are the only thing keeping the…

Racing Rachael: Backyard Picnic

When I looked at this meal with its entrée, two sides AND dessert, I thought, “Rachael, honestly! All of this in 30 minutes? Did someone slip something in your bottle of EVOO?” And, yes, in my head Rachael Ray and I are on a first-name basis. Was she a little…

The Killing: “I’ll Let You Know When I Get There”

So it looks like we’re back to square one after the revelation last week that Stan and Belko – oops – beat the living hell out of the wrong guy. Turns out it wasn’t Rosie’s t-shirt in Muhammed’s makeshift bedroom after all, meaning Bennett and friend had nothing more than…

The Best Local & Texas Albums Of 2011 (So Far)

Chris Gray: My pick is a dead heat between a pair of Lost Highway albums by a couple of artists who just happen to be appearing at Summer Fest this weekend, Hayes Carll’s KMAG YOYO (& Other American Stories) and Black Joe Lewis & the Honeybears’ Scandalous. Though he’s been…

Guess Those Hands: The Real Food Network Challenge

It’s Memorial Day. You’ve eaten too much today and gotten too much sun, so you’ve retreated back indoors to the cold comfort of your computer screen. We understand. Believe me, we understand. And to that end, we came up with a fun game for you to pass the time on…

Off the Wall: Zelko Bistro

Last week, Minh T. Truong asked the question, “Which Houston restaurants deserve Food Network recognition?” The comments poured in, but one in particular from EOW reader Ali caught my attention: “I’d love to bathe in Jamie Zelko’s grits. Is that TMI? I don’t care. And I could eat her chopped…

Game Of Thrones: “You Win Or You Die”

“You win or you die?” Sounds like soccer in Colombia. Hear me out, because last night, Ned Stark – on again/off again Hand of the King and essentially the one good man in a bad kingdom – scored the medieval equivalent of an own goal by doing “the honorable thing”…

Top 5 Sporting Events in Memorial Day History

A month from now (hell, even a second after it concludes), nobody is going to remember and/or care about the Houston Astros’ Memorial Day clash with the Chicago Cubs in Wrigley Field. Overall, it’s a pretty lame sports day today — the Stanley Cup Finals start on Wednesday and the…

Five “Dressed Up” Macaroni and Cheeses

A few weeks ago I wrote about my Top Five Stellar (Plain) Mac and Cheeses. Now, as promised, I’m moving on to my favorite “dressed up” versions. You know, those gourmet, fancy-schmancy types that combine hand-cut pasta with double-cream cheeses and everything from caviar to peanut butter. Behold, my five…

The Best Albums Of 2011 (So Far)

The year isn’t quite half over, but as of today, “summer” is officially here – even if the calendar needs a few weeks to catch up – and by the time summer is over, so will 2011. Or close enough. So Rocks Off asked our staff to give us their…

An Evening at Philippe Restaurant + Lounge

Chef Philippe Schmit’s Philippe has been getting serious buzz. Eating Our Words spoke with the chef himself as the opening days approached, and Katharine Shilcutt’s first look proved that the wait was well worth it. Then Mai Pham went to the restaurant’s glitzy opening. All this added to my excitement…

Comment of the Day: We Finally Got One Right

After several readers found issue with our lists of movies filmed in Houston, movies you should lie about having seen and movies with great swimming pool scenes, our battlefield speeches list finally got some love. Reader Evan commented: Could not agree more on Independence Day. Thank you…

HPD Officer Kevin S. Will, 38, Bayou Body Count No. 74

A man has been charged with intoxication manslaughter of a peace officer after he drove through a traffic barricade and into a Houston cop who was investigating a traffic accident this morning. Officer Kevin S. Will, 38, was pronounced dead at the scene on the North Loop and Yale about…

AC/DC’s Brian Johnson Sounds Off On Fast Cars & Fast Times

While he’s of course best known as the longtime front man for AC/DC, or perhaps the rocker with the most consistent wardrobe, Brian Johnson is also a very serious gearhead, a collector/tinkerer of classic cars and a competitive race driver who has seen the checkered flag on tracks all over…

Six Inappropropriate Memorial Day Fashions

Today is Memorial Day, and for a lot of us, that means sleeping in, grilling out and watching Real Housewives of New York City straight (thanks, Bravo!). But for a lot of people, it also means a chance to display the flag; we are, after all, supposed to remember those…

Where Are We Eating?

Depending on your point of view, sometimes Houston can look a little bit like skyscraper-saturated New York or Chicago. This particular window from a favorite old haunt affords a view not often appreciated — but do you recognize it? Think you know where we’re eating this week? Leave your best…

Comicpalooza Day 2: Heinlein, Graverobber, and Mech Warriors

Read the coverage of Day 1 here. As we prepared to enter the George R. Brown Convention Center for Day 2 of Comicpalooza, we ran into Houston model and regular member of the Gothic Council, Sarah Hill on her way out. In complete defiance of the 100-degree-heat, Hill was decked…

Comicpalooza Day 1: Quidditch, Horror Flicks, and Our Crush on Link

Being that your humble reporter is they guy the Houston Press calls on our specialty geek emergency phone whenever steampunk, zombies, or superheroes need reporting on, it may come as some surprise that this year’s Comicpalooza is the first comic book convention that we’ve ever been to. It’s true, but…

Comment of the Day

Mai Pham had a spectacular dinner at Soma Sushi and took some beautiful photos. Readers liked the piece, and one was even inspired to pitch an idea: Katharine maybe this could be the basis for a good story or article? Houston’s most underrated chefs as a storyline. People like Chef…

This Week in Deliciousness

Welcome back to the weekly roundup here at Eating Our Words, where we kind of want our old pizza delivery job back just so we can hang out in the walk-in freezer. Yes, it’s hot as balls here in Houston, and that’s why we started the week off right with…

Kevin McHale Is The Rockets’ New Head Coach

In what would have been classified as a fairly startling upset at the beginning of the search process, the Houston Rockets have chosen former Boston Celtic great/Minnesota Timberwolves coach and general manager Kevin McHale as the next head coach of their franchise. In a process that started with Rockets general…

Rocks Off Open For Bidness On Memorial Day

James McMurtry, “Memorial Day”: Rocks Off has no idea what we’re going to be doing on Memorial Day; we just know we’re not going to be here, as in the office. We suspect Leon’s Lounge will be involved somehow, because it usually is. But you should be here, as in…

Have a KKK Memorial Day

If your white-power group is having trouble finding cool Memorial Day rallies where you can wave the stars ‘n stripes ‘n swastikas, then we suggest you check out reputable racist-friendly Web site Stormfront.org for cool holiday ideas. We especially recommend that any Texas KKK chapters (or “klaverns,” as they’re technically…

More Local Music News Than Memorial Day Furniture Sales

What would your Friday be without Magnolia City Mixtape? Pretty bleak, if you’re trying to keep up on all the local music here in Houston. Thankfully, we’re here to make that last day of the work week just a bit better. Propain launched his music video for the Departure track,…

White Shoes Before Memorial Day: Yea or Nay?

I grew up in a part of the world where, regardless of etiquette, wearing white shoes before Memorial Day was not really an issue; if I wasn’t still wearing my snow boots I was certainly stomping around in galoshes. But now I live in relentlessly sunny Houston, and since my…

Lady Gaga Sings The Big Easy Blues

Rocks Off woke up to Lady Gaga on Good Morning America this morning. It looked like she was having a little trouble with her zipline. The reason Rocks Off woke up to Lady Gaga on Good Morning America this morning, instead of Channel 13’s Eyewitness News like we normally do,…

Reviews For The Easily Distracted: The Hangover Part II

Title:The Hangover Part II Word Is There’s A Lot More Cock In This One… Really? Is that the rumbling on the street? Tell me, where does one discuss the amount of dong in a movie? Book club? Catholic Singles Night? Rating Using Random Objects Related To The Film: Two tastefully…

Drunk Watermelon: The Memorial Day Classic

This almost goes without saying, but very few things complement an afternoon of barbecuing or grilling like a slice of ice-cold watermelon and a pleasant buzz. That’s where Drunk Watermelons come in. A slice of Drunk Watermelon is the best of both worlds: sweet, red flesh that’s cooling and delicious,…

Planking In Houston: Memorial Day Edition

Art Attack has been planking since November, when it wasn’t cool and just called “the lying down game.” Now all of a sudden it’s the new meme rage and we feel like a forgotten punk band from the ’70s, all mad we aren’t getting credit. In honor of one of…

Happy Hour Scene: Cyclone Anaya’s Midtown

The place: Cyclone Anaya’s Midtown 309 Gray Street 713-520-6969 The hours: 11 a.m. – 6 p.m. Mondays through Fridays. The deals: $1 off bottled beer, $4.75 small house margaritas, $8 jumbo house margaritas, 1/2 off all wine bottles all day Monday and Tuesday The scene: Since Cyclone Anaya’s is close…

Last Night: Canned Acoustica III At Warehouse Live

Canned Acoustica III Warehouse Live Green Room May 26- 2011 How do you soundtrack a good cause? Why, yes, with a good dose of what our friend Haj calls “folksy acoustic stuff.” There was plenty on display Thursday at Canned Acoustica III, a homegrown charity event which spotlights local musicians…

I-45 in Harris County: Most Teen Car Crashes in Texas

There’s nothing like being a teen behind the wheel in summer. You’ve got your music blasting, you at least imagine the top’s down, and the world is yours. Plus, if you’re in Harris County, you have the added excitement of crashing at almost any moment. Allstate has put out a…

Miramax and Netflix Make a Sweet Deal

Ardent film fans might have to call in sick to work on June 1 – that’s the day that the Miramax film library become available for streaming on Netflix. The deal, which is worth some $100 million over five years, will add hundreds of Miramax titles to Netflix, many of…

The 25 Most Influential Bands Of The ’90s

As a music writer, we are asked constantly to compare the new with the old, to decipher the periphery where modern bands’ influences come from to understand where we are going and what we are seeing. We can hear everything Keith Richards stole from Chuck Berry, and can stand in…

Coolest Shuttle Picture Ever?

Web pic of the day, and possibly best shot ever of a shuttle takeoff: We have no idea if this is photoshopped, but let’s assume it isn’t, since F-15s often fly in pairs. So what we have here is the Endeavour breaking through the clouds as one of the chase…

Danny Elfman’s Ten Greatest Soundtracks

Last Tuesday, Warner Bros. music released a 25th anniversary box set commemorating the orchestral soundtrack work Danny Elfman has done for Tim Burton. Elfman, the former front man for the wonderfully weird art-pop band Oingo Boingo, was first recruited by Burton to score his film Pee Wee’s Big Adventure. Elfman,…

May 21 to 27: The Week in Art Photos

It’s time again to check out the Houston Press Flickr Pool and see what kinds of art shots our talented photographers have added. We love street art, unique perspectives and beautiful photos of Houston’s creative community. If you think you’ve got a good eye, drop your pictures in the pool…

Upcoming Events

If you’ve been missing Robb Walsh, here’s your chance to catch up with our former food critic outside the busy environs of his new restaurant. On June 7 and again on July 12, Walsh will be speaking at his restaurant, El Real Tex-Mex Cafe, as part of the Houston Museum…

So You Think You Can Dance: Season 8 Begins

My on-again, off-again relationship with Fox’s summer show So You Think You Can Dance, or SYTYCD (which isn’t really any less of a mouthful), should have handicapped me to write up the review each week; indeed, I feared the worst as I uttered “who?” when the judges for the San…

Chef Chat, Part 3: Renato De Pirro of Ristorante Cavour

After our energetic and wide-ranging discussion (covered in Chef Chat, Parts One and Two), Chef De Pirro brought out a few of Ristorante Cavour’s representative dishes, each one a gracefully calibrated balance of flavor and texture. We began with the smoked Sicilian swordfish and eggplant involtini, a thin, dusky-colored swath…

Alicia Saldana Gonzalez, 36, Bayou Body Count No. 73

An argument between a husband and wife ended when he stabbed her to death on the porch of their east side home Thursday night. The couple’s three children were at home and might have witnessed the incident. Alicia Saldana Gonzalez, 36, was stabbed multiple times by Jesus Gonzalez, 40, police…

Undisputed: Trae Tha Truth At His Realest On New Mixtape

Trae Tha Truth has released his second mixtape of the year. It is called Undisputed and is a precursor to his forthcoming proper album, Street King. The tape is 24 songs of Trae doing what it is that Trae does: Rapping and being intimidating and hinting at what’s to come…

HISD Lesson for Today: Tutoring Works, Now What Do We Do?

It was a masterful performance. At the start of his press conference Thursday in which he announced gains in math and science student test scores, Houston ISD Superintendent Terry Grier announced that “We’re not going to talk about accountability ratings today because we don’t have our final results back such…

Franco-Japanese Meets Molecular Gastronomy at Soma Sushi

Soma Sushi is probably better known as one of those trendy restaurants. It’s nestled in the heart of the Washington corridor at the Shepherd intersection, making it the perfect pit stop for some nosh before a night on the town. It’s not as well-known for serious cuisine, but that’s exactly…

Happy Birthday Siouxsie Sioux: Eight Of Her Best Songs

Today Siouxsie Sioux, born Susan Janet Ballion, turns 54 years old. Sioux is one of the undisputed originators of the post-punk and goth genres. Whether you’re talking about her work with the Banshees or the strange, dark world music that defined the Creatures, you can be on firm ground saying…

Thank You, Lord: Dan Patrick May Run for Senate

If you take as a given — which you should — that it’s going to be awhile before a moderate ever gets elected to the U.S. Senate from Texas, then you want your troglodyte senatorial candidates to be as entertainingly fringe as possible. So look with a smile upon this…

Headed to Comicpalooza? So Are We!

We’ve somehow convinced our indefatigable writer Jef With One F to spend his valuable Memorial Day weekend working for us. Specifically, he’s headed to Comic-Con and will be filing stories each night of the convention. Additionally, we’re sending out our trusty photographers, so be sure to keep checking the site…

Odd Pair: Guacamole and a Wine from the Basque Country

Who doesn’t love guacamole? If there’s someone out there who doesn’t, they’ve never been to Texas, where I believe it is illegal not to like guacamole. As a native Southern Californian who got to Texas as quick as I could, I feel right at home in this state where guacamole…

Comment of the Day: HISD, TAKS, Spinning & Responsibility

We have some great commenters here on Hair Balls, and it’s time we paid some damn attention to them. So we’ll be highlighting a Comment of the Day each morning, from the previous day’s work. Maybe two comments, even. This will all be determined by a highly rigorous scientific formula…

Top 10 Musician WTF Hobbies

Musicians are weird. Well, the good ones, at least. It’s a little-known, beloved factoid. While artists’ news, drama, and private lives are sometimes aired to the point of over-saturation, it becomes more interesting when we learn relatively kept insight into their rockers’ offstage lives. Sure, the Prince of Darkness can…

Thanks for Sharing

Yesterday, we posted a tribute to Pam Grier, who was celebrating her 62nd birthday. Craig Hlavaty’s post included an array of colorful vintage posters of blaxploitation films starring Grier. But that didn’t matter to reader Assholio, who took the opportunity to say: I would totally take off my pants for…

App of the Week: MySocialMania

App: MySocialMania Platforms: iPhone Web site: Apple Link Cost: $0.99 Mania seems to be an appropriate word when discussing the crazed use of social media by millions worldwide. From Twitter to Facebook to Flickr to MySpace (God help us), millions of people post millions of messages, photos, videos and links across dozens of social…

Memorial Day: 10 Inspiring Battlefield Speeches

Memorial Day is a time to remember those who have died in service to our country, a time to reflect on what their sacrifice means and a time to honor their memory. It also happens to be the beginning of the summer blockbuster movie season, and we can’t think of…

May 21 — 27: The Week in Photos

Each week, we take a dip into the Houston Press Flickr pool and see what our talented photographers have been up to. We want to see how you’re celebrating this long weekend, and the unofficial start to summer. Whether you’re grilling by the pool or taking a family road trip,…

ESPN’s Doris Burke’s Difficult Week (w/ VIDEO)

Of all of the on-air personalities who put their fingerprints on a sporting event — studio host, play-by-play, color analyst, sideline reporter — I’ve always thought that the sideline reporter has the hardest job out of all of them. It starts with the inherent degree of difficulty that comes with…

100 Creatives: Rachel Harmeyer

What She Does: Rachel Harmeyer specializes in anatomical art centered around the human body. She works in drawing and sculpture, and now has branched out into a line of amazingly detailed anatomy themed embroidered tea towels and napkins… which are as awesome as they are out of our price range…

Openings & Closings: The Chock Full o’Nuts Edition

Remember last week, when we blithely reported that it had been such a wonderful week of good news? Prepare yourself for a mixed bag this week — and it’s a big bag — starting with the ugly stuff. After Caffe Bello’s abrupt closure, there were rumors that a Tex-Mex place…

13 Assassins

Hey, what’s a movie without sex and violence? Not much if you’re hot Japanese director Takashi Miike. Miike makes movies at a phenomenal speed, with some 80 video and film productions since his 1997 debut, but his work is not for the faint of heart. Outrageously dripping with sadism and…

“Portable-on-Demand Art (PODA)”

Art comes in every shape, size and color container for the exhibit “Portable-on-Demand Art (PODA).” The Houston Arts Alliance has teamed up with Portable-on-Demand Storage (PODS) to supply a dozen shippable storage containers to local artists and arts groups to use in making their own public statements. These works will…

Jekyll and Hyde

For a musical that never got any respect — the New York Times review from the 1997 premiere is downright withering, as were most of the other Big Apple opinions — Jekyll and Hyde has had an amazing life. It ran for three and a half years on Broadway (1,543…

Chills & Thrills Teen Book Tour

Young-adult fiction author and mermaid aficionado Tracy Deebs has organized a group of writers from Texas who focus on things that go bump in the night for the Chills & Thrills Book Tour. The authors are all part of an ever-growing writing community with an attraction to vampires, mermaids, ghosts,…

Comicpalooza 2011

Jeff Hughes, owner of the independent comic book publishing company Comic Book Divas, debuts his latest book, Goldilocks in Zombie Land, during Comicpalooza 2011, a three-day frenzy of all things comics and sci-fi, horror and fantasy films and games. The plot for Goldilocks in Zombie Land is fairly simple. Goldilocks…

The Lost Tribe

The Baytown Little Theater may have to change its name soon; the word “little” doesn’t quite describe what it’s up to these days. According to theater president Kim Martin, a $4 million theater in downtown Baytown is in the planning stages. And the company is staging a world premiere of…

“Canned Acoustica III”

In this third edition of the locally cultivated charity concert series, attendees can expect a hell of a show as rapper Fat Tony and classical indie crew Two Star Symphony join forces for a set bridging the gap between new school and original school. Word coming from their rehearsals has…

Elysian

The way Thomas Sustaita’s vocals range from strong and melodic to agonizingly screechy is both a beautiful and painful thing to hear. His larynx is surely paying a price for it. While his band Elysian’s sound is unquestionably heavy metal, it’s accessible metal – easy enough on the ears for…

Hadden Sayers

If anyone knows the value of a hard dollar, it’s Hadden Sayers. Several musical generations ago, the native Houstonian singer/guitarist’s eponymous band ruled the local blues-rock scene alongside Carolyn Wonderland and Miss Molly & the Whips. He was a fixture at the Fabulous Satellite Lounge and in the weekly columns…

An Aggie Tradition

See inside the smoker and watch the brisket get trimmed at The Brisket House in our slideshow. A half-pound of slick, fat-capped brisket and tender pork ribs sat on a gleaming, glossy white sheet of butcher paper on the table next to me at The Brisket House. It looked like…

Why Shouldn’t Mexicans Speak Proper Spanish?

Dear Mexican, I’m a Spanish court interpreter in Santa Bárbara, California; I’ve also worked in Los Angeles courts. I just read your most recent column regarding the promotion of the learning and practicing of English by Latinos in the U.S.  Generally, I agree with your view. But my question is…

Bros Roofie’ing Bros

Most sequels are born of good box office rather than good ideas — if you build it and they come, you simply must build another one — but it’s hard to imagine a more calculating, creatively bankrupt piece of real estate than The Hangover Part II. Trade out Las Vegas…

Five Jobs for Fastow

CRIME Five Jobs for Fastow Out of prison, Enron honcho needs work By Richard Connelly Andy Fastow, the former financial whiz of Enron, has returned to Houston after his stint in a federal prison. He’s currently in a halfway house and, let’s face it, he needs a job. Luckily the…

The Day After

The Day After Hangover 2 opens this weekend. In honor of the movie’s release, writing on the Art ­Attack blog on May 11, John Nova Lomax told his worst hangover story and asked readers for theirs. Here’s the response: Puke party: For some stupid reason, my friends and I decided…

Canned Acoustica 3

In this third edition of the locally cultivated charity concert series, attendees can expect a hell of a show as rapper Fat Tony and classical indie crew Two Star Symphony join forces for a set bridging the gap between new school and original school. Word coming from their rehearsals has…

Holy Fiction

All sorts of things happen in the kitchen. In the case of electro-dusted Houston folk-rockers Holy Fiction, the sound of Legos slamming down on Evan Lecker’s kitchen table was all the inspiration the lead singer needed to remix his band’s song “More Than Ever,” a standout from last year’s acclaimed…

Hadden Sayers

If anyone knows the value of a hard dollar, it’s Hadden Sayers. Several musical generations ago, the native Houstonian singer/guitarist’s eponymous band ruled the local blues-rock scene alongside Carolyn Wonderland and Miss Molly & the Whips. He was a fixture at the Fabulous Satellite Lounge and in the weekly columns…

Pit Crew

At first glance, Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr. might seem like a gimmick: Two guys in racing suits capitalizing on a name-brand stock-car-racing dynasty. Upon listening, however, it’s clear their particular type of indie-pop is anything but a stunt. The Detroit duo of Josh Epstein and Daniel Zott combine delicate, pleading…

A Flock of Seagulls

After too many haircut jokes (thanks to movies like The Wedding Singer) and lineup changes to count, A Flock of Seagulls is still airborne. Founder Mike Score, an actual former hairdresser, is the sole remaining original Seagull, and his Liverpool-formed group deserves to be listed among synth-pop pioneers like Soft…

Twilight Singers

Fans of the departed Afghan Whigs, rejoice, because former Whigmaster Greg Dulli will be in action with the Twilight Singers at Warehouse Live Wednesday. Hopefully a gaggle of comprehension-challenged vampire-movie fans won’t show up expecting a blood-sucking revue instead of Dulli and company’s bitter, acidic rock. The Twilights were first…

Here to Stay

While his drummer and bassist vamp solos halfway through his band’s first set, guitarist John McVey walks to his amp, takes a long swig of Lone Star, fishes a cigarette from his pocket, lights it, takes a grateful puff, removes his sunglasses and wipes the sweat off his face with…

Lives Revealed

Garage sales offer a glimpse into other people’s lives. I still remember a Montrose yard sale a few doors down from my old house. All the residents of a triplex were selling their unwanted crap, and there was this big biker-looking guy sitting on a lawn chair next to a…

Capsule Art Reviews: “Guns and Roses,” “Heinrich Kühn: The Perfect Photograph,” “Henry Horenstein: Show,” “This Is Displacement: Native Artists,” “Voodoo Pop: Mary Hayslip and Trey Speegle,” “Wendy Wagner: Once Uponse a Time in the Land o

“Guns and Roses” On the surface, the new show at Anya Tish Gallery recalls happy childhood memories and tooth-rotting sweetness. But there’s dark commentary lurking in the work of Texas artists Shannon Cannings and Ann Wood. Cannings paints toy guns with an emphasis on their bright colors and plastic details,…

Little India

It is a Wednesday afternoon during lunch service at Raja Sweets on Hillcroft and a line winds in front of the brightly lit case of sweets in the middle of the restaurant. Customers are having their cafeteria-style trays filled with golden-colored butter chicken and soft green saag paneer, then taking…


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