Sen. Ted Cruz Will Stop Being Canadian, ASAP

We’ve all had our suspicions about Sen. Ted Cruz. Didn’t he seem a little too comfortable in that chilly Washington D.C. weather? Didn’t someone one time hear him say something nice about Queen Elizabeth II? When he stops talking, doesn’t it seem like something is missing? A space for a…

The Nine Best Live Acts We’ve Ever Seen

Friday, one hand holding our collective nose, Rocks Off brought you our opinions on the worst live acts we’d ever had the misfortune to encounter in a post imaginatively titled “The Nine Worst Live Acts We’ve Ever Seen.” But for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction –…

Houston Market Continues Its Explosion in July

According to a report from the Houston Association of Realtors, the city of Houston had its biggest single month of home sales ever in July. This continues the housing boom of 2013 that has seen dramatic increases in the number of homes sold and the sharp rise in home prices…

Ooh La La Bakery: A Confection Consortium

To say I have a sweet tooth is perhaps the understatement of the century. I could easily live on chocolate chip cookies and have been known to fight children for the corner piece of a sheet cake (best icing-to-cake ratio). Although I get away with eating more brownies and pie…

Technology and the Democratization of the Media

Tech author and guru Seth Godin penned a blog post about the democratization of media and art via technology this morning. The point he has been making for quite some time and reiterated here is that technology is not the devil. It is simply the means by which we now…

Foxfinder is More Murky Than Mysterious

The set-up: Foxfinder won a playwriting contest and was produced in a small West End theater in London in 2011, garnering good reviews. It is a small-scale drama, exploring the impact of a long-running, governmental witch hunt. The hunt is for citizens who may be conspiring to protect a fox,…

NSFW: Five Videos Recently Banned From YouTube

Want a music badge of honor? Well, the key to earning one is simple, apparently. All you have to do is release a new, sometimes subpar single, and set it to a visual backdrop of either half-nekkid chicks scenes of violence and murder. Throw in enough stuff that the censors…

Cake Decorating 101: Rose Cake

So far in the Cake Decorating 101 series, we have looked at different ways to make flowers with fondant, frost a cake with butter cream and cream cheese frosting, spruce things up with easy designs and we have learned how to decorate the inside of the cake to create beautiful…

Weather Week: Back to School, Back to Summer…for Now

That dreaded first morning back to school (for kids and parents) this year was punctuated with surprisingly cool weather. While northerners may be used to sub-70 degree August mornings (or sub-50 in some cases), Houstonians are not exactly acclimated to that kind of “cool” weather this time of year. Instead…

Houston Press Brewfest Presale Tickets Go on Sale Today

No, it’s not quite on par with Oktoberfest in Munich, but it’s pretty damn close! The Houston Press Brewfest will take place at Silver Street Station on Saturday, October 5 from 2 to 7 p.m. in conjunction with Lucky’s Pub. The event features more than 30 beers on tap including…

Six More Weird Bands to Watch In 2013

Back in February, I told you about five weird bands that adventurous music listeners might want to watch out for if they happened to be looking for something outside the mainstream. As the year has plugged on, all five have done some exciting things, but even more noteworthy experimental bands…

Food in Film: Pasta Sauce in Goodfellas

It’s little surprise many famous movie scenes involve food; there’s a certain pleasure in watching characters eat the foods we enjoy in real life or grapple with the familiar challenges of cooking, say, lobsters. But have you ever been watching a film and someone mentions a food you’ve never heard…

Back To School Lessons From the Movie Back To School

The end of August has this very funny way of temporarily cooling down. All of a sudden those email solicitations from the Gap about boots and jackets don’t seem all that ridiculous. Shopping for a light sweater, in fact, sounds lovely. It’s a total farce, of course. My mother used…

I Watched Nearly Four Hours of Brony EDM So You Won’t Have to

You know how this works: a snarky writer starts off with a few high-minded paragraphs about subcultures and having an open mind and cultural anthropology. The goal is to make it seem like they started watching whatever video they’re about to tear apart with the best intentions, instead of admitting…

Breaking Bad, It’s About To Get Real

Imagine you are driving around your neighborhood and you pull over because you see something strange. What is it? Is it a stack of cash? Yes. But then it’s not just one; to your far left you see another and another and another. You follow a trail of money to…

Houston Restaurant Weeks: The Oceanaire Seafood Room

What they’re up to for Restaurant Weeks:The Oceanaire is offering two menus for Houston Restaurants Weeks: a lunch menu, a two-course meal for $20 ($3 donated to the Houston Food Bank), and a three-course dinner for $35 ($5 donated to the Houston Food Bank). Service/Atmosphere: The Oceanaire is located right…

House of Creeps Packs ‘Em In at “We’re Getting Sued!” Party

“We’re Getting Sued!” Party House of Creeps/The Doctor’s Office August 17, 2013 The Houston House of Creeps never set out to be a landlord’s worst nightmare. When the dedicated roommates/DIY collective began hosting house shows at their old address on Carrollton Street three years ago, all they wanted to do…

Houston Texans: Why Not Case Keenum?

Case Keenum had a good game on Saturday night versus the Dolphins. He had a good game two weeks ago against the Minnesota Vikings. He’s been good enough that there’s been some thinking coming from Texans camp that Keenum might be the team’s second-string quarterback to open the season. And…

Is Xenoblade Chronicles Worth $90 Used? I Say Yes

It took over a year to get the RPG Xenoblade Chronicles for the Wii from Japan to America, and lots of people thought it would never happen at all. An online campaign finally convince the makers that there was a market here in the US, and it sold well and…

Houston Restaurant Weeks: L’Olivier

What they’re up to for Restaurant Weeks: L’Olivier Restaurant & Bar offers three menus for Houston Restaurant Weeks: two lunch menus, a two-course meal for $20 and a three-course meal for $30, and a three-course dinner for $35. Each menu comes with an optional wine pairing; $5 per course for…

Texans 24, Dolphins 17: Five Things We Learned

It’s not regular season football by any stretch, but we’ve reached the two preseason weeks where starters appear for more than a cameo and meaningful trends can be deciphered. In the case of the Texans and Dolphins on Saturday night, that comprised much of the first half. For the home…

True Blood: Imagine Dragons… I Don’t Get It

Alan Ball was known for his masterful use of music in Six Feet Under. He’s lost none of his touch when it comes to his current HBO series, True Blood — which happens to be set in the Louisiana swamps, not terribly far from Houston. Much thanks to True-Blood.net, who…

States of Matter at Avis Frank, a Treat for the Senses

This past Friday, the Avis Frank Gallery in the Heights opened a shared exhibition by two artists that come at conceptualization from similar a mindset; their execution, however, is as different as comparing the forest to the ocean. States of Matter, a collection of works by Alex Larsen and Dylan…

Video Game High School: Play to Learn

If there is anything that Video Game High School really does well in this second season it’s the show’s ability to explore the video game generation. I’m on the tail end of that, myself, but the show is more interested in the types of kids that have really grown up…

R.I.P. Elroy Boogie: Popular Kracker Nuttz DJ Passes Away at 27

Sad news this Sunday: Elroy Boogie, a member of popular Houston DJ collective the Kracker Nuttz who had been battling cancer for the past few months, passed away earlier today, according to a statement on Kracker Nuttz co-founder DJ BabyJae’s Facebook page. “I am truly at a loss for words,”…

Hayes Carll Is Not In a Mental Institution, Says Hayes Carll

Friday is traditionally the day the media jettisons its more unpleasant stories, similar to the way the Millennium Falcon escaped that Star Destroyer in The Empire Strikes Back (“…We’ll jut float away with the rest of the trash”). Other Friday afternoons the news is just odd, but either way there’s…

Texas B-Boys Step Up to North American Finals

Within the four elements of hip-hop, breaking (aka “breakdancing” or “B-boying”) is perhaps the most dynamic, and by far the most physical. The act of transforming a DJ’s beats and MC’s rhymes into a work of performance art takes courage, training, creativity, and a bit of luck. And like hip-hop…

Brittany Martinez: Lawyer, Husband Astonished at Light Sentence

Would-be husband-killer Brittany Martinez felt the swift hammer of Texas justice this week when a Harris County District Court judge sentenced her to eight whole years of probation, and the husband and his lawyer are befuddled. Robert Kuehm, who represents Houston firefighter Adrian Martinez, told Hair Balls, “Adrian’s just extremely…

Otenki Goes Old-School Hoping For Biggest House of Blues Show Yet

Having spent some time on the road, on local television and with recent EP still drawing fans’ attention, Otenki have returned to their roots, to their hometown. And they happen to be performing at the best-sounding venue in town. Tomorrow night, the Houston-based six-piece will headline its first local performance…

The Nine Worst Live Acts We’ve Ever Seen

Rocks Off is not going to lie. The prospect of getting into concerts for free is what leads many people to become music writers/reviewers in the first place. Though it’s not true of everyone, we’ve generally found that with experience comes plenty of practice in the art of grading on…

Houston’s Legion Unleashes Young Metal Attack Tonight

Though few tears were shed when the grunge explosion killed off the likes of Warrant and Winger back in the ’90s, hair bands weren’t the decade’s only heavy-metal casualty. After a decade of all-out war with the poodle-heads, thrash metal — hair metal’s uglier, speedier, more psychotic cousin — suddenly…

Summer TV Club: Breaking Bad: “Fly”

This week Jef, Pete and I decided to celebrate the mid-season premiere of Breaking Bad by rewatching one of the best episodes of the entire series, Season Three’s “The Fly.” The first time I saw it, I remember being blown away. It is one of those episodes that stick with…

7 Quality Rums to Try for National Rum Day

Today, August 16, is National Rum Day, and while you might be tempted to partake in a little Captain and Coke or Malibu and pineapple to celebrate, don’t reach for that bottle of Bacardi so fast. Rum is actually a complex, incredibly tasty spirit with as many varieties as there…

Reviews For The Easily Distracted: Kick-Ass 2

Title: Kick-Ass 2 Does It Kick Twice As Much Ass As The Original? Possibly. I never saw the original (I was in newborn baby enforced lockdown in 2010). Rating Using Random Objects Relevant To The Film: Three Felix Leiters out of five. Brief Plot Synopsis: Teen vigilantes mete out messy…

Bruno Mars & Ellie Goulding at Toyota Center, 8/15/2013

Bruno Mars, Ellie Goulding Toyota Center August 15, 2013 Robin Thicke may have the song of the summer, Timberlake may be the returning icon, Pitbull may be the ultimate party machine, but in the realm of male pop stardom Bruno Mars is The Talent. He’s has serious pipes. He can…

Cool Spreads at The Hot Bagel Shop

There was a period in my life when I had unlimited access to wonderful bagels and I did not appreciate it. I was living in Brookline, Massachusetts, and within a stone’s throw of my apartment were at least three top-notch bagel bakeries, including one that offered the best dill cream…

Houston’s 5 Best Social Bike Rides

As Houston’s cycling infrastructure has grown, so has its cycling community. There are now social bike rides for nearly every day of the week, each with its own focus and personality. Below, we highlight five of our favorites just in time for the start of training season…

Upcoming Events: All About Bees…and Alligators

On Monday, August 19, at 7 p.m., Flora & Muse is hosting a gastronomical tour of Spain by Chef Kelly Boyd and Sommelier Evan Turner. The dinner will include six courses paired with Spanish wines. The first course will be a charcuterie plate with cured meats and cheeses from different…

100 Creatives 2013: Lacey Crawford, Her Painted Animals

What She Does: Lacey Crawford is a painter and sculptor. Her latest works are heavily centered on animal prints and Victorian styles, giving her an almost steampunk sort of verve that you should really have hanging in your home if you’re interested in maximum elegance. Her pieces use soft, pastel…

James Harden’s Foot Locker Jam: The Extended Mix

On the surface, James Harden’s new Foot Locker commercial with Steph Curry is just that — 30 seconds of frivolity designed to compel kids (and their parents) to go to Foot Locker and buy shoes, jerseys and whatever else they sell at Foot Locker. In case you haven’t seen it…

Houston Restaurant Weeks: Au Petit Paris Bistro

What they’re up to for Restaurant Weeks: Au Petit Paris Bistro is serving two Houston Restaurant Weeks menus, a three-course lunch for $20 ($3 donated to the Houston Food Bank) and a three-course dinner for $35 ($5 donated to the Houston Food Bank). You can pair a glass of red…

Steve Jobs Movie Is No Apple IIGS

Steve Jobs was a complicated man. In his college years, he was a freethinker, a student of the world. He wanted to experience life and he did so by traveling abroad and eating acid. And then he became motivated by a desire to change the world’s perception of what a…

The 32 Most Memorable Juggalos From the 2013 Gathering (NSFW)

Nate “Igor” SmithFor five magical days in August, Cave-In-Rock, Illinois hosted one of our favorite events, The Gathering of the Juggalos. Our photographer, Nate “Igor” Smith, took thousands of pictures at the Gathering, but some of the folks he captured stood out more than others. There was the naked BBQing…

A Cozy and Cool Happy Hour at Cove Cold Bar

Cove Cold Bar, a “self-contained mini-restaurant,” opened inside Haven late last year with chef de cuisine Jean Philippe Gaston taking charge. The regular menu is a trip around the world with offerings from Tahitian poisson cru to Mexican ceviche to Italian crudo. But the “seafood haven of sorts” also explores…

Tropical Storm Erin Forms, Caribbean Disturbance Weakens

As we enter the peak of hurricane season (August 15 actually marks that day), it seems fitting that there are two disturbances in the Atlantic. Fortunately, neither seems to be a significant threat to anyone at this point. The first is the one closest to us. A disturbance over the…

Top 5 Restaurants to Try on South Padre Island

Eating on South Padre Island? Don’t you just go there to drink? Well, perhaps if you’re an early twentysomething on spring break from college. The rest of us are more okay with splitting our money between booze and food. If you’re SPI-bound and looking for places to eat, here are…

Meeting of the Minds: Morrissey and Charlie Brown

Morrissey always seemed like a rather gloomy chap, on that we can all agree. But how does he stack up against the all-time glum heavyweight, Charlie Brown? In case you never wondered that before, go ahead and kick yourself just like we did. That’s the germ of an idea behind…

Politicians Find Dead Body on the Rio Grande

It’s one thing to talk about immigration problems, but it’s a whole other ballgame to actually see a dead body floating in the Rio Grande, along that ribbon of water dividing Texas and Mexico. That’s what a group of politicians saw as they motored down the border river between Texas…

Heart at Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion, 8/14/2013

Heart, Jason’ Bonham’s Led Zeppelin Experience Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion August 14, 2013 You know, Wednesday night proved that the boys that could learn a thing or two from the ladies in Heart on how to rock the hell out. Those Wilson sisters are freakin’ awesome from head to badass…

Top 5 Dunkin’ Donuts Dozen Combinations

Picking up a dozen donuts for some houseguests, the office crew or, um, just yourself on that lonely weekend night seems initially like a simple favor and easy act of generosity…that is, until you’re standing at the counter of Dunkin’ Donuts and find yourself completely flummoxed as to which and…

The Man I’ve Been Seeing Online Doesn’t Know I’m a Man. Help!

Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off’s advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, “funny, serious or unpredictable.” Something on your mind? Ask Willie D! NO JOB, NO COMMITMENT Dear Willie D: I’ve been seeing this guy I met through mutual…

The Rocks Off 100: Folk Descendent Kevin Taylor Kendrick

Welcome to the Rocks Off 100, our portrait gallery of the most compelling profiles and personalities in the far-flung Houston music community — a lot more than just musicians, but of course they’re in there too. See the entire Rocks Off 100 at this link. Who? Kevin Taylor Kendrick is…

Will Rap 4 Weed: Woman Gets Creative with Street “Ad Campaign”

Though Houston has enjoyed a rather robust economy even during the recession, money is still tight for many, which means the many joys in life often get placed on the back burner for necessities like food and rent. One creative, perhaps innovative woman spotted on lower Westheimer by photographer Michael…

House of Creeps Is Being Sued, So They’re Throwing a Party

The dudes behind Houston House of Creeps — downtown home of DIY concerts, free kegs, kitchen Jacuzzis and possibly even a few renters — are throwing another huge party on Saturday, and you’re invited. This time, though, all the debauchery will be for a cause: raising money for a lawyer…

Reviews for the Lazy Gamer: DuckTales Remastered

Game: DuckTales Remastered Platform: PSN/XBLA/Wii U/Steam Publisher/Developer: Capcom/ WayForward Technologies Genre: Platformer Describe This Game in Three Words: The Legend Returns Plot: Scrooge McDuck foils a robbery in his money bin, only to find that there’s a treasure map hidden inside a painting in his office. Now he’s off to…

Music’s Five Dumbest Pseudonyms

Have you ever wanted to change your name? I’m going to guess that almost all of us have at some point wanted to go by some cooler moniker, unless your given name was something like “Max Power,” a name that sounds good in your ear. I’m going to also guess…

Capsule Art Reviews: “CTRL + P” “Dining In: An Artful Experience” “Gifts from the Past: The Isabel Brown Wilson Collection” “In Residence: Work by 2012 Resident Artists” “Late Surrealism” “Unwoven Light”

“CTRL + P” Authorship. Originality. These are some, but of course not nearly all, of the things that usually come to mind when considering art — the conceit of the artist and that his or her unique vision gives meaning and value to the work. Now, get ready to turn…

Jobs Report

Geniuses, unfortunately, tend to be impossible people. Consumed by their own dazzling brilliance, they treat those closest to them cruelly and thoughtlessly, causing much undue suffering — only to turn around and invent a device that can put 1,000 songs in your pocket. Damn them. If what we see in…

Lucky 2013

HPMA A reliably diverse crop of local musicians got lucky at this year’s Houston Press Music Awards ceremony last week, with artists ranging from ambitious prog-metal band Oceans of Slumber (Best New Act) to the late Texas Johnny Brown, who won for both Best Blues and Local Musician of the…

Protective Gear

Highlights from Hair Balls Crime Did undercover cops wear Speedos and penis T-shirts when busting gay dudes in Memorial Park? The answer to that question, according to gay activist Ray Hill, is a resounding “yes.” Here’s the deal: A Houston Police Department spokesperson told Hair Balls that officers conducted a…

La Fisheria

Restaurant News La Fisheria made national news after an announcement last week that the owner, Aquiles Chavez, has decided to ban kids under nine years old after 7 p.m. out of respect for other patrons. The announcement was made on La Fisheria’s Facebook page. La Fisheria isn’t open on Mondays,…

Ethnic Identity and…Spanish Rock?

Dear Mexican: This pregunta has been simmering in my brain for a while, like slow cooking birria, and the recent question about whether saying “Viva la Raza” is racist reminded me to ask you. According to José Vasconcelos, the Mexican people are La Raza Cósmica (Cosmic Race); which, to myself…

Kick-Ass 2 is Giddy, Gory and Meaningless

Despite the giddy, gory ridiculousness of Kick-Ass 2, this summer’s most violent yet least punishing comic-book movie, there’s a kernel of ugly human truth at the core of the Kick-Ass fantasy. In the first issue of Mark Millar and John Romita Jr.’s Kick-Ass comic, from 2008, a lonely high school…

The Butler Is So Old-School It Feels Modern

At the movies, straightforward storytelling, the kind in which a director and his cast push a story forward in waves of action and feeling, has become so out of fashion it’s almost avant-garde. Moviegoers, it seems, need to be cool: not too moved, not too surprised, not too impressed. We…

Out of the Box: Mike Stinson Calls His Own Shots

Mike Stinson takes a personal inventory at just about every gig he plays. One song on his new album, Hell and Half of Georgia, “The Box I Take to Work,” totes up a good two dozen things he — or any talented independent musician clawing out a living one show…


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