Hey, so you know those adult toys you've got stashed away in your sock drawer? They might be full of toxic compounds that are banned for use in most items in the United States. Fo' real. It's time to start side-eying that vibrator.
You see, earlier this week, the U.S. Department of Customs confiscated 200,000 dolls that were shipped over from China, just in time for the holidays, because they contained high phthalate levels. Phthalates, or chemical plasticizers, had been used to soften the dolls' plastic outer materials, which would presumably make them more cuddly and all. But as helpful as those plastic-softening phthalates can be, they're equally as pesky on the toxic side. They aren't good for your health, especially when items that contain them are chewed on.
The FDA considers phthalates a "possible human carcinogen," and studies on lab animals have showed some nasty results, even in low doses. Exposure has even been linked to preterm birth in recent studies.
We all know how mouthy kids can be, especially at the age where they find dolls interesting, so phthalates and mouths? They're obviously not a good combination. Those pesky mucous membranes ruin everything. Dolls that can be poisonous are definitely not worth the risk, so good for Customs for jumping on that and removing the dolls before kids get a hold of 'em. But why are adult toys, that also presumably meet with mucous membranes, allowed to contain plasticizers?
Most adult toys contain the same phthalates that are banned for use in children's toys, but it's completely fine, according to current guidelines. Adult toys are considered "novelties," and you're technically only supposed to laugh and/or stare at them, not put them near mucous membranes -- in the eyes of the government, anyway -- so there is no Customs agent stopping the shipment of 200,000 rabbit vibrators or Dr Who-themed dildos. Those free to come and go as they please.
They are presumably no safer for use, though. Mucous membranes are mucous membranes, whether they're in your mouth or, uh, other places, and it's probably wise to avoid using them in sex toys. But until that actually happens, we've found some legit phthalate-free naughty time items for your enjoyment. If it's not safe for doll faces, it's probably not safe for your goods, either. Here are 10 adult toys that aren't full of toxic compounds.
10. Lelo Mia 2 Rechargeable Vibrator www.goodforher.com
This little lipstick-like gadget is not only environmentally friendly and body friendly -- which means it contains no harsh chemicals or those rotten phthalates that we're trying to avoid -- but it's rechargeable as well, which is rad cause batteries are never around when you need 'em.
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9. Fun Factory Delight Rechargeable Vibrator www.goodforher.com
We're both impressed and a bit intimidated by the shape of this awesome thing, but it's pretty cute nonetheless, and it won't mess up your goods cause it's free of plasticizers and other potentially harmful stuff. It's got multiple speeds, holds a charge for 90 minutes, and the magenta makes it rad. There are manlier colors if you need 'em, though.
8. Rabbit Habit www.shopthebop.com
You don't have to make the leap from softer adult toys to metal or glass to find something phthalate-free; the Rabbit Habit, based on that super popular ol' friend the Rabbit, manages quite well without plasticizers. Reviews for the Rabbit Habit are great, and even O Magazine called it the "Rolls Royce of sex toys," which probably just means it won't poison you. Or that it's awesome. Or both.
7. Ina 2 www.sheboptheshop.com
This little wonder toy is the new and improved sister to another toy on our list, the Lelo, and it's basically from the space age. The design is way rad, there are no banned chemical compounds to it because it's created with body-safe silicone, and it has 100 percent more speed than the Lelo, and eight settings, so yeah. You were warned.
6. 4Us Vibrating Cock Ring from Rocks-Off www.smittenkittenonline.com
We had to throw this one on here. It shares a name with our music blog and it's a toy that won't accidentally poison your goods while you get it on. How could it be wrong when it sounds so darn right? Also, it's blue, and we find some irony in that because that's what we do.
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5. Curvy Rocket Toyfriend Vibrator www.smittenkittenonline.com
Check it. This thing kinda looks like a contemporary sculpture, but really, it's a vibe that won't kill your vibe, or your junk, because it's molded from bright yellow silicone, rather than whatever the heck it is that contains plasticizers. We do hope it comes with the stand, because part of us wants to proudly display this thing out in the open like the glorious statue it should be.
4. Yoo www.toolshedtoys.com
The Yoo is a vibrator that comes a super cool shade of green, so it's not emasculating like some of the more traditional toys out there. Plus it's made of medical grade silicone, which means there are no worries to be had about poison or toxins, and it's waterproof and bath friendly. Oh, and it's not terribly expensive either, at around $59, so have at it.
3. Squeel 2 www.toolshedtoys.com
This thing doesn't even look like an adult toy, legit. It's so artsy and cool, and it's not full of weird, sci-fi compounds, so we like it even more. The cool little toy is phthalate and latex free, and it doesn't vibrate like the others on this list. It makes some sort of wheel motion, and it won't kill you. It's bound to be awesome.
2. We Vibe 3 www.selfservetoys.com
It's a phthalate-free couples vibrator! How rad is that? Also, it's hands-free as well as phthalate-free, because this thing is awesome. We need not tell you more. Just click.
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1. The Form 2 www.selfservetoys.com
The Form is made of platinum, medical grade silicone, and it's free of phthalates, so there are no worries in that department. This little instrument has won all sorts of awards, too, from the IDEA Award, to Fleshbot 2009 #1 Sex Toy of the Year, and the AVN "O" Award for Outstanding Innovation. It's basically a magical, phthalate-free adult toy, and we think you should know about it. Plus it's kinda cute, right?