Every Houstonian knows that If you are driving down I-45 as February turns into March and you just happen to pass a line of cattle holding up traffic, it's rodeo time. Giddy up, people. This weekend officially kicks off the 2014 Houston Rodeo and Livestock Show and Rodeo.
I was thinking back to my first rodeo (yes, some of us do have a first rodeo), and the fact that I had no idea of what to expect. Sure, I had seen bull riding on TV and watched a cow give birth in that movie City Slickers, but the rodeo is so much more than fried alligator on a stick and horse manure covered walkways - it's all about the people watching. And when I say that I mean it's all about watching what people are wearing. Rodeo fashion is a beautiful thing that everyone should experience at some point.
In honor of all the rodeo styles out there, here are ten movies to get you inspired to break out your Stetson, slap on a pair of chaps or run to Cavenders for a sweet-ass pair of boots.
10. For that throw-back, 1970s innocent-seeming male prostitute cowboy look, watch Midnight Cowboy.
Nothing says, "I may not be the brightest light on the Christmas tree, but hell can I do a two step and I ain't never done no drugs, and Iwill
sleep with you for money," like Jon Voight inMidnight Cowboy
. To make this look work, though, you must wear fringe and a skinny neckerchief. Youmust
9. You too can get your hair to be that big by watching Coal Miner's Daughter
In addition to its excellent musical score, amazing acting and heartbreaking story,Coal Miner's Daughter
, the Loretta Lynn story, is all about the portrayal of the country singer's huge do. It's a do. (That was a horrible joke and now I apologize.)
8. "Cowgirl Slut" is actually a fashion statement, and you can make it happen by watching Coyote Ugly.
, the cinematic experience based on a bar, takes place amongst the yanks of New York City (you have to say New York City like those guys from thePace Salsa commercials
), but none the less, the gals root and toot in the sluttiest western wear in the land. To maximize sluttiness, make sure you have on lots of skin-tight leather and hot pink lace.
7. You are a no frills, take no crap, fake bull-ridin' cowboy, like Travolta in Urban Cowboy
Travolta's look in Urban Cowboy is perfection: simple, solid colors, denim, a big-ass belt buckle and a Lone Star in hand. It's almost makes you forget how fem John Travolta is. Almost. 6. For a '60s, but you're also kind of into the '80s look, check out Sweet Dreams
Patsy Cline may have hit her peak in the early 1960s, but something about Jessica Lange's style says "It's like totally 1985" in this flick. My guess is because that's when it was filmed. Copy her style with overly permed hair and gold lame.
5. Cowboy Hipster was a thing way before Montrose as evident in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
Squat derby hats, slim-fitted pants, corduroy blazers, unnecessary vests that tie up, perfectly messy hair, creepstaches that kind of look attractive -- did you just watch the Paul Newman/Robert Redford movie or walk into Moon Tower on a Tuesday night?
4. You are 12 years old, and you still dig Hannah Montanna's steeze
Don't feel bad little girls if you really wish Miley Cyrus would just stop twerking and put back on a jean skirt and a flannel shirt and be her good old Hannah Montana self. Hey, maybe this new Miley is really justpretending
to be the shock and awe, fifth-wave feminist, sexual explorer by night version of herself and soon enough she will go back to being the girl we once loved. Art imitating life imitating art.
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3. You are still living in the 1980s in a small, religious town in Oklahoma and you just want to dance, goddamnit
Ariel Moore, (played by Lori Singer from Corpus Cristi, BTDubs), the female lead in the realFootloose
movie, looks like she just stepped out of an American Apparel ad. You too can have this look. It's all skin-tight jeans, puffy-shouldered shirts with Peter Pan collars buttoned up to the neck or off the shoulder Pepto-pink prom dresses. And then pile all your hair on the top of your head because, hey, you do that already anyway when you wear your super large ironically nerdy grandma glasses.
2. Wearing a silver bracelet can be manly, just ask Smokey and the Bandit
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Show up to the rodeo in the most masculine of ensembles, a cowboy hat and a turquoise and silver cuff. You are a freakin' man!
1. You know what? You do you at the rodeo, just like in Natural Born Killers
Every ensemble thrown together in the Natural Born Killers is red neck chic, right down to the crimped hair, snake tattoos, high-wasted jeans, crop tops, red mesh shirts, bad mullets and excessive guns. I would not use the AK 47s as fashion accessories if I were you; I think the rodeo has some rules about that. But what do I know? It is Texas.