Gaming

4 Insane Theories About Five Nights at Freddy's

No game in recent years has been quite as bone deep terrifying as Five Nights at Freddy's, and they've already teased an equally scary sequel with the above trailer. If you haven't played it I suggest you go pick it up on Steam, iOS, or Android and make sure that your bladder and bowels are empty because if you don't do it before you pay you will do it during.

The game is deceptively simple and murderously hard to beat. You play Mike Schmidt, a recently hired night watchman at a Chuck E. Cheese rip-off called Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. At night the animatronic band wanders the halls trying to reach you and kill you. You have to watch them on the monitors and get the doors closed in time without draining all your power. It's equal parts Weeping Angels and every creepy puppet horror film ever made, and no one gets through it without jumping.

Weird for such a simple game, there is a surprising level of depth to the mythology of the game if you're willing to really take a look at things on the edges. Bear in mind, that's a good way to get killed because you're not watching the screens.

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Jef Rouner is a contributing writer who covers politics, pop culture, social justice, video games, and online behavior. He is often a professional annoyance to the ignorant and hurtful.
Contact: Jef Rouner