Books

4 Psuedo-Politician/Comedian Tag Team Tournament Contestants

In honor of his passing and for the fact that he prevented the Rapture by giving God the big elbow, we would deeply appreciate it if you would imagine the following article in Macho Man Randy Savage's voice. Thanks.

For those of us whose brains are not full of Flavor-Aid and fire ants who illegally entered America through the Southern border, John McCain's daughter Meghan McCain is the sole voice of conservative reason in the country. So when you team her up with Michael Ian Black, whose association with The State makes him one of the 12 funniest people on the planet by default, then you know that whatever results is going to be a nice mixture of common sense and uncommon humor.

That's why when we heard that the two of them were joining forces to write a book called Stupid for America we did a little dance, made a little love, and did in fact get on that night. Plus, the writing involves the two teaming up to tour through the territories in order to ask Americans their backward-ass political opinions on just about every subject under the sun. Assuming the two of them survive the many head injuries self-induced by facepalming themselves, we'd like to go on record saying that this will be one of the books that defines American culture for generations to come.

Why stop there, though? Why let McCain and Black dominate the Psuedo-Politician/Comedian Tag Team Division? Art Attack believes that there are plenty of candidates to make for an all out Texas Tornado match of wit, words, and WTF. Here are our suggestions for those teams, and in the interest of fairness we have chosen an equal number of conservatives and liberals, and no, Michael Moore does not count as more than one person.

Carrie Prejean/Patton Oswalt

Hopefully you remember Carrie Prejean, the Miss Universe contestant who shot to conservative fame for bravely upholding traditional family families in one hand and herself in the other for the online viewing pleasure of her boyfriend. She did write a book about her life and her defense of her conservative system of beliefs, and we read every page while waiting in line at the supermarket. She's probably the least qualified thinker on this list, but does make up for it in beauty.

Especially because her partner is perennial bridge troll Patton Oswalt. For our money, Oswalt is the voice of the generation, the new Carlin and Hicks. His biting condemnation of America's mouthbreathing is the perfect sneak attack to unleash on the population while Prejean keeps them hypnotized with boobs and Republican eloquence. The two of them define the disparity of the nation, and teamed up they can bring it together.

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Jef Rouner (not cis, he/him) is a contributing writer who covers politics, pop culture, social justice, video games, and online behavior. He is often a professional annoyance to the ignorant and hurtful.
Contact: Jef Rouner