5 of Superman's Powers You Won't See in Man of Steel

When people think of a superhero, they think of Superman. Oh, they may have another favorite like Spider-Man or Batman or even Matter-Eater Lad if you're insane, but Superman is just quintessentially the guy comic books are made of.

Part of it is his humility, uber-Americanism, and classic look. More of it is that he has all the powers that anyone person could want with absolutely no drawbacks. He can fly, he's super strong, he's damn near invincible, he shoot eye lasers, and he can even see through solid objects. This makes him objectively better than not only most superheroes, but also most deities in the world's religions.

But see... writers are lazy, and whenever they felt the need to resolve a story and flying and punching and lifting things wouldn't do they would just add powers to Supes. Eventually he became a collection of the most completely random, and stupid, abilities you could ever imagine. Lest they be forgotten in the wake of an excellent-looking new movie, here are the dumbest.

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Tornado Eating: Superman's super breath is a pretty standard is lesser-used power. He can blow with tremendous force, and if he does it fast enough can also super-cool people and objects to the point of freezing. At one point in the '70s he proved he could suck as well as blow when he inhaled a tornado threatening a small town. He then flew around with a comically distended chest until he could exhale it safely out in space because that is totally how tornadoes work.

Shapeshifting: The logic behind Superman's ability to maintain a secret identity actually makes perfect sense. He doesn't wear a mask, so why would people even assume that he wasn't Superman all the time anyway? No one suspects Clark Kent of being anything other than a guy that kind of looks like Superman because no one realizes that Superman has a day job. Nonetheless, at several points Supes has needed to go incognito and apparently the writers just made him a shapeshifter because they were tired and wanted to go home.

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Jef Rouner (not cis, he/him) is a contributing writer who covers politics, pop culture, social justice, video games, and online behavior. He is often a professional annoyance to the ignorant and hurtful.
Contact: Jef Rouner