Super Ventriloquism: Superman's eyes are super, his ears are super, his skin is super, even his nose is super. Is his voice super? Yes indeedy. For reasons completely unknown Superman can not only perfectly throw his voice great distances, he can mimic the voice of anyone he chooses. Oh, and Krypto the Super Dog can do it, as well
Amnesiac Kisses: it's not just the comics that have added to Superman's powers of the years. Richard Donner's first two Superman movies did their fair share of damage. I honestly don't know what anyone sees in the damned things. Between turning back time in a method that A) Would not work, and B) Kill everyone on Earth in the first film and hurling his stupid S-symbol like Captain America's shield in the second there's more stupid in those flicks than in, well... I was going to say Superman Returns, but no, lifting a continent of kryptonite and fathering a half-human child is still slightly dumber.
Among those sins was the amnesiac kiss Clark Kent gives Lois Lane to make her forget he's Superman. Really guys? That's the best you could come up with? Hell, even Scooby Doo would use the old bump-em-on-the-head trick, and that's at little plausible. Gosh, what happens when Superman has sex with a woman? Will he screw away Lois' bachelor's degree?
Mega-Homosexuality: Technically this isn't a power, it's a weakness. And I don't mean that as in being gay is a weakness. I mean it's caused by Superman's famous inability to withstand kryptonite.
There are actually many types of kryptonite. Green kryptonite is poisonous to Superman, gold kryptonite removes superhuman powers, black kryptonite splits personalities, and so on. However, there is also a pink kryptonite which temporarily turns straight male kryptonians into gay male kryptonians.
It only appeared in a single issue of Supergirl, and while under its effects Supes started hitting on Jimmy Olsen, commenting on the décor, and just in general behaving as every gay stereotype you can think of. Believe it or not, this wasn't some weird throwback, this was 2003!
The novelization of Superman Returns helped that story not suck as much, as novelizations sometimes do. Also, have you ever wondered how neo-Nazis view the Man of Steel?
Jef With One F is a recovering rock star taking it one day at a time. You can read about his adventures in The Bible Spelled Backwards or connect with him on Facebook.
