This past weekend my wife graduated from nursing school, an accomplishment that is massive to someone like me whose employable skills involve overanalyzing Doctor Who and ranking video game farts. I couldn't be more proud of her, and of course I wanted to celebrate her victory over academia by attending her graduation ceremony.
Now, I have a four-year-old daughter, and like all four-year-olds, she lives in pathological fear that someone somewhere might be getting more attention than her. Still, it was important to my wife that she be present at both ceremonies. (Nurses have a special pinning ceremony in addition to a regular graduation.) That means that I had to basically corral the girl-child for around five hours all told through something even grown people feel gets pretty boring.
I did not do a very good job at this. If you've got a graduation coming up, here's a few pieces of advice I have for you.