3. Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down (1990)

This Spanish film by director/writer Pedro Almodóvar is a lot of fun, but a hard film to classify. It's a sort of erotic romantic comedy with darker humor than is typical for those types of films; the plot concerns Ricky (Antonio Banderas) as a "cured" mental patient, recently released from an institution, who wants to have a normal life with Marina (Victoria Abril), but things don't work out as smoothly as that. This is another film that narrowly dodged an X rating, and was released as unrated in America.

2. Henry and June (1990) This biographical drama by director Philip Kaufman is based on the memoir of the same name by Anaïs Nin, and tells the story of Nin's love triangle relationship with novelist Henry Miller and his wife, June. The couple have a bohemian lifestyle, and Nin pursued a romantic/sexual relationship with both. Henry and June has the honor of being the first film to receive the then new "NC-17" rating, intended for movies that had content deemed too strong for a simple "R" but not deserving an "X," which usually was the kiss of death for a movie that wasn't pornographic in nature. A lot of people consider this movie to be a very erotic film, and I have to agree.

1. Secretary (2002)

Pretty much anytime I ask people I know what erotic films they like, this movie comes up, and that has to mean something. I've seen it, and I concur. The story of a non-traditional BDSM relationship between a socially awkward young woman and an attorney prone to bouts of odd behavior, this film starring Maggie Gyllenhaal and James Spader is definitely erotic, and almost certainly a lot better than 50 Shades of Grey will be.

When it comes to erotic films, things get fairly subjective. One person's kink is another's turnoff, and movies that involve heavy sexuality without being pornographic cover a lot of thematic ground, and range in tone from funny and playful to dark and tragic. There are at least a hundred films that could be added to a list of "erotica that's almost certainly better than 50 Shades," and this list is just a tip of that iceberg. Movies such Emmanuelle, Barbarella, Performance, The Piano and Crimes of Passion could easily be added, as could many others. I suppose it's possible that somehow a piece of modified Twilight fan fiction that was panned for many reasons could somehow result in a classic of erotic filmmaking, but I'm going to bet that's not the case.