A Really Bad Apple

Break out the glitter and watch this bomb explode
If you've got a taste for bad, bad movies, don't sit at home with the VCR when you could be among your kind at this weekend's screening of Menahem Golan's legendary bomb The Apple. The film, which premiered at Cannes in 1980, is so bad that it has been widely unavailable since the days before leg warmers went out of style. Despite Hollywood's attempt to quash it, hard-core bad movie lovers have, after more than 20 years, managed to revive this true camp classic. A recent showing in Los Angeles played to a sold-out audience of cinematic masochists and hipsters looking to wallow in the synthesized glory of Gen X's early childhood.A futuristic disco musical set in 1994, The Apple tells the story of young lovers Alphie and Bibi, whose dreams of musical stardom are threatened by villainous record executive Mr. Boogalow. Like The Rocky Horror Picture Show, The Apple begs the audience to sing along to its strange lyrics and shout back at the screen; its hammy acting, shoddy set design and terrible songs somehow add up to something wonderful. Patrons are encouraged to wear outfits inspired by the film's silver rayon jumpsuits. "It would be great if people came in the most god-awful clothes they have," says Amy Beth Gilstrap of Landmark River Oaks Theatre. "Wear glitter and make sure you haven't shaved your armpits." The film screens at midnight on Friday, April 25, and Saturday, April 26. River Oaks Theatre, 2009 West Gray. For information, call 713-524-2175. $8.-- Melissa Nurczynski

Stirred and Shaken
The Harp's Irish Coffee
It was late afternoon on a cool spring day when I ambled into the Harp (1625 Richmond, 713-528-PUBS) for a libation or two. A bottle of Emmett's Ireland Cream Liqueur was staring me down, and it wasn't long before I heard myself ordering an Irish coffee. The after-work crowd was just starting to file in and the beer taps were warming up for their nightly workout. Suddenly, Faceplant came blasting out of the jukebox and the redheaded smoker sitting next to me coughed up what sounded like a lung. What was once a quiet sanctuary quickly had turned into a loud, smoky pub. Oh, well, when in Rome"I traded in my Irish coffee for a pint of Guinness and decided my plans for the evening could wait.

1 ounce Jameson's Irish Whiskey
1 ounce Emmett's Ireland Cream Liqueur
Freshly brewed coffee
(or slightly burned, if available)

Measure the whiskey and Irish cream into a coffee mug. Top off with coffee. -- J.W. Crooker

Show Them the Money
It's like American Idol (without the public humiliation), the UK's Turner Prize (except it's in Houston) or the Texas State Lottery (but with better odds and no scratch-off gunk under your fingernails). Artadia, a New York-based nonprofit, was founded by investment banker Chris Vroom in 1997 on the premise that artists shouldn't have to max out credit cards and juggle part-time jobs in order to create. To that end, the organization is giving five $20,000 grants to Houston artists. At 7 p.m. Thursday, April 24, at DiverseWorks, 1117 East Freeway, a who's who of local artists convenes for a "news and views" panel, where awards judges will discuss art trends. The five lucky winners will be announced Sunday, April 27. -- Kelly Klaasmeyer

Secret Sharers
This weekend's Urban American Filmmakers Workshop promises to let aspiring African-American actors and filmmakers in on the "secrets" of making it in the film industry. Hopefully, the writers and producers on hand will explain to young filmmakers that they don't have to populate their movies with rappers or UPN sitcom stars for black people to go see them. If the pros don't share that particular secret (and they should), they still might teach participants how to make a She's Gotta Have It or Barbershop of their very own. Friday, April 25 through Sunday, April 27. Crowne Plaza Hotel, 6701 Main. For information and a schedule, call 310-260-2587 or visit www.uafw.org. $275, $300 after Friday. -- Craig D. Lindsey

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