Film and TV

Age of Ex-Stink-Tion: The Worst Movies of 2014

As movie years go, 2014 was fairly unremarkable. You had a couple superhero sequels (Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Amazing Spider-Man 2), the requisite remakes (RoboCop, Endless Love), and even a handful of pleasant surprises (Guardians of the Galaxy, The LEGO Movie, Edge of Tomorrow).

But it still feels like we were sort of marking time before the blockbuster blitz of 2015, a year that will see the next installments in the Avengers and Batman/Superman franchises, a reboot of Mad Max, and a new James Bond movie, among others. Don't get me wrong, there were plenty of fine films this year (Birdman, Boyhood, Nightcrawler), but we probably won't be looking back on any of these as all-time greats.

And that just made the crappy movies -- of which there were many -- stand out all the more. Maybe it's because I'm getting older and my tolerance for that which wastes what little time on Earth I have left is at an all-time low, but the bad movies this year seemed *really* bad. What follows are the ten worst, excerpts from my quote-unquote hilarious reviews included. "Enjoy."

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Peter Vonder Haar writes movie reviews for the Houston Press and the occasional book. The first three novels in the "Clarke & Clarke Mysteries" - Lucky Town, Point Blank, and Empty Sky - are out now.
Contact: Pete Vonder Haar