The trial of the year has finally come to a close. Two high-powered, businessmen have been battling it out in court over the loss of millions of dollars from a lucrative BP contract, and justice has been served. Normally, this lawsuit would get a mild mention on various news sources but would get the brush off as soon as anything remotely exciting, like Kate Middleton wearing a hat, came through the wires.
This lawsuit, which was about technological devices used to clean up after the fallout from the 2010 Gulf Coast oil spill, wasn't glossed over. Its huge significance may have something to do with the fact that it was between Kevin Costner and Stephen Baldwin. If you are scratching your head as to where you've heard the names of these environmental moguls before, it is probably because they are Kevin Costner and Stephen Baldwin, the actors.
The two, along with Baldwin's colleague Spyridon Contogouris who has the fakest name ever, both had active interests in a company called Ocean Therapy Solutions, which was being considered for use during the BP cleanup. Baldwin and Spyridon sold their shares and just as quickly BP made an $18 million deposit on a $52 million order. More or less, the two were suing under the legal premise of "no fair." Late last week, Costner was declared the victor and he walked out of court all smiles. According to Fox News' report, Costner was quoted as saying:
"My name means more to me than money and that's why we didn't settle," Costner said
He should use that line in his next movie!
The whole idea that these two actors were in a legal battle over oil-separating centrifuges is so far out there, it could be made into its own made-for-TV-movie. Maybe it should be, Stephen needs the work.
This is not the first time a celebrity has gone to trial over something ridiculous and it probably won't be the last. Here are five, choice pointless Hollywood trials.
5. Kim Kardashian Sues Old Navy
Last year, the reality television persona thought she saw herself on an Old Navy commercial. When she realized, no, that is not one of the 100s of products I have plastered my face to, she sued. Allegedly the model who was in the commercial, Melissa Molinaro, looks a lot like the star (judge for yourself) and Kardashian was "worried" that people would be "confused." There is nothing more worrisome than people thinking you wear performance fleece.
4. Mariah Carey Sues Mary Carey
Mary Carey is a white, big-boobed porn star who does not belt out high notes in spiked heels. Mariah Carey, despite their obvious differences, didn't want the buxom blond having a name that at all resembled her own, so she sued. And she won! In 2006, a judge declared that Mary Carey could no longer use the name, which could not have helped any future gubernatorial bids the porn star may have hoped for.
3. "American Chopper" Paul Teutul Sues Son Paul Teutal, Jr.
We've all got family issues, but the father and son on American Chopper have something special. If you ever thought their on-screen arguments were just for show, you were wrong. In 2009, dad Teutul sued Jr. for more than $1 million and a share of Jr.'s stocks, which dad claimed he could buy at will. I wonder if Teutul senior's defense was "because I'm the dad, that's why."
2. Criss Angle Gets Sued Over Cat Theft
While celebrities are constantly being sued for absolutely no reason other than cash, this case was too odd to let pass. In 2007, Criss Angel, the Mindfreak magician, was charged with not returning a cat. Allegedly, Angel was cat sitting for Las Vegas variety show producer, Jeff Beacher, and decided the cat would "magically" become his property. Beacher sent letters of intent to sue if Angel didn't return the beloved pet named Hamlet. If Angel really knew magic, why not just pull a new cat out of a black top hat and call it a day? Or make Beacher disappear, either way.
1. Vanna White Sues a Robot
In 1992, Vanna White who is famous for turning tiles on the game show Wheel of Fortune sued Samsung for a series of advertisements put out by the electronics company that used her image. The ads featured a robot with blond hair wearing pearls standing in front of a familiar looking game show set. While the company claimed it was supposed to be a parody, White apparently didn't find it very funny to be compared to a robot. She won. The robot lost.