Beach Balls

SUN 3/27

If you fancy yourself someone with David Beckham or Mia Hamm-type skills, grab your balls and head to G-town for the Fiesta de Agua beach soccer tournament. More than 100 teams will play in men's, women's and coed divisions, but even if you don't dribble 'n' kick, you can catch some decent rays, live bands and a party that promises to stretch well into the evening. If you do take part in the tourney, be warned: Beach soccer can be a real beeyotch. "It's much harder to run on the sand than grass, and the emphasis is on passing because the ball is harder to control," says tournament organizer Bob Yampey. Each barefoot, five-member team plays three 12-minute periods and must abide by standard soccer rules. But if you and your teammates make it to the finals on April 10, you'll compete for $5,000 in cash and prizes.

The rules say each team has to wear matching shorts and shirts with numbers on the back. And in keeping with Olympian Brandi Chastain's tradition, we suggest ripping off your shirt after you score a goal. (The chronically pasty may want to tan a little first.) Team registration starts at 11 a.m.; games kick off at noon, Sunday, March 27. Tournament continues April 3 and 10. East Beach, 1923 Boddeker Drive in Galveston. For information, call 281-479-8221 or visit Free for spectators; $7 for parking; $175 for team registration. -- Greg Barr

Some Good Smack

TUE 3/29

You know it's exciting when it has an exclamation point built right into its name. WWE Smackdown! is about as gratuitous, primal and insane as any sports-acting hybrid gets. The level of excitement generated when one humongous shirtless dude throws himself on top of another humongous shirtless dude strikes us as a little, dare we say -- well, we don't need to say. (Hey, as long as they don't want to get married, right?) Fortunately, there's always the top-heavy Diva or two to round things out. Join the likes of Big Show, JBL and Rey Mysterio and celebrate the WWE -- because if it weren't for them, there'd be no Rock, which means no Walking Tall. 7:30 p.m. Tuesday, March 29. Reliant Arena, 8400 Kirby Drive. For information, call 713-629-3700 or visit $20 to $45. - Julia Ramey

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