The last few years at FFFF it was moustaches that were ruling the roost on the faces of men and hipster boys at the music festival. Even some girls were sporting them, albeit fake ones. This year the long and lustrous beard made its appearance, with some fellas sporting inches and inches of growth, in direct defiance of the razor and shaving cream industry.
With a body covered in tattoos, a Hitler Youth haircut, and a glorious beard, one can get anyone and anything at a festival like FFFF. A golden ticket into realms of untold luxury, with harems filled with buxom girls that look like Christy Mack, where there are rivers of craft beer and tacos appear in your hand with the ease of a wish.
We chronicled the beards of FFFF this year to give some of you afraid to take the hirsute plunge a bit of motivation. Come on, work will understand if you don’t shave for six months. And if they don’t? Well, do you really wanna work with a bunch of dicks like that?
This article appears in Nov 1-7, 2012.