10 Reasons Why Nobody Cares About Your “Art”

Or maybe not in your case, pal. Just being honest.
Or maybe not in your case, pal. Just being honest. Photo by Steve Jansen
Choosing “artist” as a career is basically a death sentence. But there are ways to prolong a shortened lifespan.

These ten reasons aren’t the way to do that.

10. The Same Regurgitated Ideas as So Many Others
These include but are not limited to: still-life paintings of some fruit in a bowl, digital photographs of dogs, 99 percent of watercolors because never seen those things before.

9. You’re a Master Procrastinator
This is usually one of those deals where people know you more for your social-media presence – because you’re always posting nonsense instead of working on art – than the art pieces that you (never) produce.

8. Pretending That Art Is Actually Your "Lifeblood"...
...that keeps your heart pumping and that you would be a pile of nothing without your art. Gag, bro.

It’s fine to lay it on thick in grant and residency applications, but in your artist statement, please don’t write these types of disgusting statements. Also, don’t say coffee is also your lifeblood because — bingo! — another puketronic artist cliché.

7. You Think You're Talented but You're Really — Hands Down — the Opposite
This includes people who can’t cut it as creatives as well as “artists” in the steampunk genre.

6. You’re Actually Really Talented but the Decision-Makers Suck
We’ve met, profiled and admired so many artists over the years who are doing all the right things but remain under the radar. Maybe it’s an oversaturated market; perhaps it’s the lack of money and staff power in the industry. Or possibly the decision-makers are waiting until you’re DEAD so that they can exploit the everloving poo out of you and your art! Life is so cool.

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Steve Jansen is a contributing writer for the Houston Press.
Contact: Steve Jansen